Unusual Creatures of Unexplained Existence

We at the Eye Talk Society has obtained a transcript of an unaired episode of Unusual Creatures of Unexplained Existence. Episode 1201 has been shelved due to creative differences. Today, we present to you the unedited transcript of Episode 1201.

Darling Darlington (DD): Welcome to another episode of Unusual Creatures of Unexplained Existence. I'm your host Darling Darlington. Today we have a very special guest, Mory from Somewhere, Nowhere. He is here to promote his latest book, Existence is Futile. Welcome, Mr. Mory.

Mory: Thank you, Miss Darlington. I am very happy to be here. Please, call me Mory. May I call you Darling?

DD: No. Let's get straight to it. Is it true you are the manifestation from someone's mind?

Mory: Absolutely not. I am not a manifestation. I am an imaginary creation. I came from a wonderful mind who is nice but a bit naive but she's working on it. My existence had helped and inspired my creator in almost everything she did.

DD: How did you come into existence? Is it an accidental overdose of too much coffee or are you the result of leftovers left too long out in the heat?

Mory: Miss Darlington, I think you may have been greatly misinformed. My existence is entirely my own doing though I do owe a bit to my creator. I came to being with just a thought and I have since realized it takes amazingly little energy to exist. I have been doing a great many things to make the world a better place. Just last week, I got my cousin Joe to switch from plastic to almost plastic.

DD: That's amazing! Now, your book, Existence is Futile, has just been self-published. I have read it and I loved it. You are such a wonderful writer. Tell us a little about the book.

Mory: Thank you, Miss Darlington. I'm sure anyone who reads it will love it too. Existence is Futile is a semi self-help book with a few doses of my own life moments. In it, I offered advices for those struggling with their existence and talked about my struggle with cupcake addictions, library abuses, coming to grips with being abandoned and earning my right to live as an imaginary creation. My book is now on sale at a store near you and about three or four thousand miles away and all proceeds go to the Save Your Imagination Charity.

DD: Why do you call it Existence is Futile? Do you think existence is futile?

Mory: No, of course not, Miss Darlington. Quite the opposite. You see, many of us try to justify our existence by chasing impossible dreams or working our asses off to get things done but what we really should be doing is rethink our idea of what truly is a fulfilling life. Living isn't about exerting yourself. Thus existence is futile.

DD: So do you prefer the lazy approach to life?

Mory: No, no, Miss Darlington, I do not. I believe we must live as much as possible but there is no need to work hard at it. Precious time could be use for napping or catching up on your favorite cat show. To achieve a life, all you have to do is do stuff.

DD: Well said! Now, for our friends watching tonight, what advice would you offer for those struggling with their existence?

Mory: If you're struggling, remember, creatures like us may seem like we serve no purpose but we do. We keep human's imagination fertile and growing though some of us do not have a body or even a voice but we exist. But that doesn't mean we have do anyone's biddings, no, we can live our own existence, even when our creators abandon us. Just look at me, my creator abandoned me but I'm still here. I have conquered my fears and turned into this amazing, independent individual.

DD: That was marvelous advice, Mory. Quite marvelous. But isn't it true that you are currently living off your creator and staying in her basement without her knowledge?

Mory: Miss Darlington, once again, you have been utterly misinformed. I live off no one. I pay rent. Sure, it's not in monetary value but I do enough. And my creator knows I'm in her basement but she has pretended not to know. I am an independent creature but from time to time, I take handouts. There's no shame in admitting I need help once in a while. Why, my cousin Jeff, was given toilet papers last week and he was very proud about that.

DD: Who wouldn't be? Now, Mory, in your book, you said you had survived a lot through the years and had come out in one piece. Tell us, what is your secret to a long and happy life?

Mory: Why, Miss Darlington, that's a very good question. I would say I am my own secret to a long and happy life. I bring out the best in people, living or imaginary.

DD: Is that so? Our sources had said you bring out the worst in people and that they all think you're an infestation that no one can get rid off. One individual even said you had ruined his life and that you should be thrown into the black hole for all eternity. Is any of it true?

Mory: Big fat lies, that's what they are! My friends and love ones know the truth.

DD: Do they? Or have they been brought to keep quiet about the truth? Tell us, honestly, Mory, do you make people unhappy just existing? Have you been lying all this time?

Mory (sighs):  No, I do not lie. Lying is for people who are not smart enough to tell the truth. I am an honest being. One of my flaws is saying far more than necessary. But in truth, some people do find me quite appalling but no one can be loved by everyone, it's one of the side effects of having feelings and emotions. And I must apologize to you Miss Darlington for shouting. I hope you'll forgive me.

DD: Of course I will. Moving on, what keeps you alive? What makes you happy?

Mory: There are many wonderful things that keeps me alive and happy especially my collection of ninja cat adventure books and kung fu fighting rabbits adventure books. Technically, I borrowed them from the library. I love the library. I just wish people would let me live there. I would make a great edition to the decor and I'll even work for free if they will let me. People are so nice there.

DD: That's wonderful! I'm sorry to say, we are out of time. Thank you for being our guest, Mory.

Mory: It is a pleasure, Miss Darlington. My book, Existence is Futile is now on sale at a store near you and about three or four thousand miles away.

DD: Until next time, take good care of your unusual creatures. I'm Darling Darlington, goodnight.

THE END.

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Note: For those who don't know, Mory is the personification of my previous blog, The Memory of Rain. The name Mory came from the last four letters of memory.

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.