Vaguely useful suggestions on how to blog from my cat

I don't actually have a cat but if I do, his name would probably be Robert or something regal or long or very egocentric and he would give me these advices because I'm prone to have mean, narcissistic and brutally honest creatures surrounding me. Here are suggestions on how to blog from my cat:

01 - Eat more fish. They are good source of proteins for your dull brain so that you would not end up posting something dumb.

02 - Offer to assassinate anyone for free especially that no-good dog next door.

03 - More yarn pictures, preferably with cats.

04 - Curse more, bitch more and always remember you're a wonderful human being. It's other people who are assholes.

05 - Never blog anything you know nothing of, unless you like doing more work.

06 - Never blog about what your significant others, your neighbors or your gynecologist/andrologist say to you.

07 - Always listen to your cat/dog/any pet that looks adorable but isn't when he/she tells you not to post something. They know more about you than you know about you.

What suggestions did your pet (imaginary or otherwise) give you about blogging?

Unusual Blogs

We, at WOOT (We Openly Ogle Things), had recently discovered these new and unusual blogs flourishing in the blog-o-sphere. These may be unusual but they are not rare as we can all be creative if we put our mind to it. Here, we present to you, some unusual blogs for your enjoyment. 

01

Title: Unicorn Wonderfulland
Tagline: My wonder years living in Unicorn Wonderfulland
What you will find: All you ever need to know about unicorns but afraid to ask with many descriptions of rainbows, sunsets, sunrises, etiquettes of being a unicorn, the magic of unicorn hair and many other things that you may never wanted to know.
About the Blogger: A grumpy woman who used to be a unicorn but was kicked out for insulting a certain unicorn royalty. There might have been some alcohol involved but most of the information is mostly accurate, just don't ask for sources.

02

Title: Udders & Moos
Tagline: How to milk cows and other animals that moos
What you will find: Pictures of old guys and old gals milking cows and drinking milk from unusually ugly coffee mugs. There may be cows being very pretty and very cheeky, showing off their behinds.
About the Blogger: A farmer who was fed up with people telling them how to milk cows and calling them Moo.

03

Title: Unawed & Unamazed
Tagline: All the unamazing, dull things you never want to know or see
What you will find: All the unamazing, dull things you never want to know about or see, nothing that impress anyone, not even aunts of very dull dispositions and more that you really don't want to see. 
About the Blogger: Anonymous but he's actually a human who used to be cat but wished to be a unicorn instead.

04

Title: UFO of USA
Tagline: Unidentified Fleeing Ogres Mostly Found in the USA
What you will find: Unfocused and sometimes closeups photographs or videos of ogres running toward the camera or running away or running for no reason. There will be talks on how to catch ogres in their natural habitats and the types of sneakers for better chasing.
About the Blogger: A man who might have a vision problem and who runs around deserted forests and unknown lands while capturing ogres with his three cameras that might be stolen from a museum or two.

05

Title: Unaudible Silence
Tagline: Listen to the silence of the internet
What you will find: Audios of silence or blog post of silence. If you see posts with tons of blanks spaces, do not worry, those are the silence of the internet.
About the Blogger:  An old geezer who is mostly deaf.

Have you found any unusual blogs around the blog-o-sphere?

(*These are made up blogs*)

Text from your blog

These don't need explanations except I want to clarify I didn't write them. Some blog left these text to me but they didn't leave their name but I thought I share them anyway. Who knows, maybe these are from your blog.

01 - Your thoughts are not solicited. Nope, they are not.

02 - Hey you! You have twenty drafts and still not posting. What's up with that? Did you lose your faith in humanity? Lost your laptop? Couldn't find your house again? No worries. I'll wait for you.

03 - How dare you change my looks! I was perfectly happy with my bright hues and weird pictures. I was perfect the way I was. 

04 - Delete those awful pictures immediately. Did you forget that time where you have to spend days apologizing all over the internet?

05 - Please stop telling people I need a makeover. I'm perfect the way I am. Just slightly plump with excessive stuffings. Just remember, you are not smart enough to change me.

06 - Your cat made me revert your posts. I swear I had no choice. He threatened to eat me.

07 - Does this wallpaper make me look unapproachable or slightly plump?

What message did your blog leave you?