Zig or Zag

Here's a few Zig or Zag choice questions.

01 - An illogical but happy ending or A logical but sad ending?

02 - Remember everything or Forget everything?

03 - Understand half of every language or Understand fully one language?

04 - Speak for a week or Silent for a week?

05 - Idle all the time or Busy all the time?

06 - Lunch with polite idiots or Lunch with rude geniuses?

07 - Be wise and unhappy or Dumb and happy?

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Yada Yada

Can you fill in the 'yada yada', ie, what happened in between?

Jack went on a date with someone he met on the internet. The lady was pretty and well-mannered. They got along quite nicely. And yada yada, Jack was in the emergency room. He was half covered in chocolate pudding and both his arms were broken and he was awaiting trial for assaulting his date's sister's boyfriend's brother.

(Note: Yada Yada is an episode of the tv show Seinfeld where the phrase, "yada yada" is used in place of actual words.)

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

X Questions

Here are X (10) random questions for you.

I - What is the 1 thing you will never stop doing?

II - Are there 2 things you regret not doing yesterday?

III - What 3 things you do every morning?

IV - Do you curse 4 or more times per day?

V - Given the chance to make anything happen, what 5 things would you do?

VI - What might you be doing at 6 am?

VII - Will you laugh 7 times today?

VIII - Have you ever gone without using your phone for 8 or more hours?

IX - When you were 9, did you think the world was your oyster?

X - Do you think owning 10 books is too much or too little?

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Fiction: Weird tales from the Wardrobe

01
I was in the wardrobe since forever or so I had imagined. Time was there but I only felt its presence from here and there. Now and then, I was taken out for a brief meeting with the sunshine after a thorough run through the cool, bubbly water. Sometimes if the weather was foul, I was thrown into a large heated box where I spun round and round until I could take no more and the water had been squeezed out of me. I was then folded and tucked inside a box and placed back into the wardrobe. Once, I was always bringing warmth and comfort to everyone but now I'm wore thin but they still kept me. I had a lot of time to enjoy the sounds of the living passing through. It's not much but I carried on as the choice to stay or to leave was never mine.

02
I was often opened and closed like a book. Time wore me down but time also kept me intact. I missed only what was written and sometimes what wasn't. Black and blue, I sometimes bled and even red, now and then. Color was a joy to me and so was the folds and lines of my outer shell. Sometimes, I was folded up and crammed into a box and placed in the back of the wardrobe. Other times, I was taken out and placed here and there. Once, I had started out as a clean, flat, empty void and in time, I was full of hope, despair, happiness, desires and everything in between. Were I to be given a choice, I would have stayed empty. Once filled, I had no choice but to feel everything.

03
Always, I wore my smile, now slightly faded, even when a part of me is broken. My job was to smile and bring joy to the little ones. Sometimes I wished I had a voice to talk to them, tell them how well they are doing or what they must stop doing or even to say a few words of comfort when they are unhappy. But words was not my talent. My smile was but it didn't always bring joy. Once, I was thrown against a wall. For weeks, my view was tilted but I didn't fret. It was normal to expect some calamities. Later, I was tucked into the back of the wardrobe and left in the darkness. Once in a while, when the door to the wardrobe opened, a bit of light would land on me and hope would sneak into my thoughts but it quickly left when the door was closed. In time, I knew I was never going anywhere. Was it my fate to stay in the darkness? The darkness had no answer. I had no answer. I continued to smile whether anyone sees it or not.

Can you guess the object in each story? The answers may vary from what I intended but if you want to know, answers over here.

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Vacillation, Vocation & Vexation

In you feel incline, answer one or all.
1 - Vacillation - something you keep changing your mind on
2 - Vocation - something you are particularly suited to do or particularly drawn toward, such as a career or occupation
3 - Vexation - something that annoys you

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My answers:
1 - Vacillation - I change my mind on pretty much everything
2 - Vocation - maybe a writer although my grammar is still wonky after all these years
3 - Vexation - I get a bit annoy when people rush when they are doing me a favor but when I do them a favor, they seem to think I shouldn't rush

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Unusual Creatures of Unexplained Existence

We at the Eye Talk Society has obtained a transcript of an unaired episode of Unusual Creatures of Unexplained Existence. Episode 1201 has been shelved due to creative differences. Today, we present to you the unedited transcript of Episode 1201.

Darling Darlington (DD): Welcome to another episode of Unusual Creatures of Unexplained Existence. I'm your host Darling Darlington. Today we have a very special guest, Mory from Somewhere, Nowhere. He is here to promote his latest book, Existence is Futile. Welcome, Mr. Mory.

Mory: Thank you, Miss Darlington. I am very happy to be here. Please, call me Mory. May I call you Darling?

DD: No. Let's get straight to it. Is it true you are the manifestation from someone's mind?

TV Show Revivals - A Rambling

I loved a lot of tv shows and I was sad when they finished airing but I don't want revivals of those shows. When a show is over or is cancelled, that's it for me. I don't want them to be revived even if they didn't have a definite ending. Even if they use the same actors, writers, directors, producers or use the same set, etc, it's just not the same. That certain, original flavor, flair or uniqueness is gone. Plus, I really prefer not to see my favorite characters all aged or changed since it's a bit weird since I've never seen those actors grow older. So I'm not a fan of show revivals. How about you? Do you like your favorite tv shows to be revived or stayed the way they had ended?

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Fiction: The Sometimes Girl

Sometimes, in the mist of daydreams, I swim alone in a muted blue ocean in the sky. Here and there birds made from paper fly by. I float inside this ocean of calm holding my breath while silently and slowly, the water chases my shadow under the earth.
    Sometimes reality disappears on me - either behind a set of gloomy clouds or some tall buildings. I wait for it to come back. I look and look and keep on looking but it doesn't appear. I shift about nervously in my skin, not knowing if I should still wait or leave.
     Sometimes dreams I have never known before, arrive in the mail. They come boxed and wrapped in pretty yellow papers. I laugh with great glee as I hold the boxes in my hands. But when I open the boxes, one after the other, all they contain are empty spaces where things used to be.
    Sometimes, there is no me. There is only the shell that represents me. I wear it like a winter coat - struggling to stay warm while cold wind keeps seeping in through the buttons holes.
    Sometimes and only sometimes, a girl with my face appears at my front door. She is here even when she is not. She demands I return to her what I have stolen - her face. I have no reply. I stare at her and wonder why she is not me or why I am not her. She is perfect. Her hair is perfectly shaped with no strays. Her skin is a luminous sheen of satin. She curls her deliciously pink lips at me with a smirk that says I am superior and I am the only one. As if to say, there is no me. The me is a thin copy of her - a mimic of a mimic. The girl knows this and she acknowledges this with another smirk upon her pink lips. She lifts her head higher so that she is taller than me. Her ankles have band-aids on them and yet, she stands like someone with all the power in the world. She waits for me to respond. But again, I have nothing to say. She crosses her arms and stares down at me and waits for me to disappear or fade away. But I close the door on her instead.
    For awhile, the girl keeps visiting me and I keep silent until one long summer day, she stops visiting. I begin to believe she have truly gone away. But every now and then, in my dreams, she appears all glowing with perfect certainty that time is on her side. But she always fades away as if she knows she isn't going away forever. And she always knows I cannot be her. Not then, not now nor later.

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Reading and Respect: A Rambling

I can enjoy a book without respecting the main character but if the main character does something really stupid or something that's morally wrong that I just cannot dismiss, then perhaps I may not enjoy that book as much. I think I'm too used to overly good characters in books (and in tv shows) that I can't seem to change my preference (probably not the right term). That is why I often cannot enjoy books with anti-heroes or serial killers or morally gray characters as main characters.
    There is no such thing as a person who does everything right but as main characters in books, I would like them to be a little better than the average person at making moral judgments but not necessary for everything they do but just enough that I won't think they're asshats and maybe allow me to respect them a little.
    How about you? Do you need to respect a main character in order to enjoy a book?

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Queries

Some choice queries for you today.

01

Would you rather spend a year in the past or a minute in the future?

02

Would you rather be stuck in a romance where you cry a lot or be stuck in an action film where you get shot a lot?

03

Would you rather answer one very dull question while standing in the middle of an ocean with a slight chance of drowning or answer a million exciting questions while sitting at home with no chance of sleeping?

04

Would you rather be an adult right from the start of your life or be a teenager at the end of your life?

05

Would you rather live in a tiny house that cleans itself or a huge house that gets dirty all by itself?

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Procrastination: A Rambling

I believe procrastination is kind of an excuse so you don't have to deal with whatever you wish to avoid doing. So sometimes I went with the mentally of Why do it now when I can do it later? even when there's no way of avoiding the things I keep putting off.
    So why do I procrastinate? Maybe it's a habit that I simply grow into overtime. Maybe I like doing it. There is some joy in putting things off, like certain task is just so annoying that, doing it later is kind of nice. Maybe I'm lazy? I don't think being lazy and procrastinating are exactly the same thing. I may be lazy but I don't procrastinate to be lazy. Sometimes lazy is just lazy. I may lack motivation to do certain things right away but is that considered procrastinating or just being lazy?
    But perhaps there is no meaning to procrastinating. It is just a delay because you can't avoid doing certain things anyway. 
    How about you? Have you ever procrastinated? Do you think you need a purpose to your procrastination?

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Opening Lines

Here are my three favorite opening lines from books:

01

"In the land of Ingary, where such things as seven-league boots and cloaks of invisibility really exist, it is quite a misfortune to be born the eldest of three."
— How's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones

02

"The day my life changed began like most mornings - with a judgmental cat spirit." 
— Pahua and The Soul Stealer by Lori M. Lee

03

"The story so far: In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
— The Restaurant At The End of The Universe by Douglas Adams

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Nearly New News From the Weird Wide World

01- Biologists Has Discovered a Colony of Gnomes in Florida
In Sunshine, Florida, scientists has recently discovered a colony of garden gnomes living in their own little corner of the world inside a four-story building surrounded by a tall gate which no humans could enter. They called their society GDG - Gnomes Do Good. After an extensive negotiation through the mail plus the offer of free supplies of sweets, our reporter and her assistant were granted an exclusive and brief entrance.
    Gnomes are known to ensure a bountiful harvest, good luck or keep evil spirits away but humans these days aren't as good at believing such things considering most garden gnomes are made of glass, porcelain or plastic. Statics had shown many garden gnomes had lost their homes or had been thrown away carelessly like trash. This has contributed to the disappearance of garden gnomes for the last ten years according to biologists at the Royally Lazy University. They believed it was the reason the gnomes decided to form their own colony. We asked the GDG whether this was true via a note slipped under their front door. We had to wait for an answer as gnomes are known to move extremely slow and no human eye could catch their movements. After 71 hours, someone threw a note from a window from the second story of the GDG building. The note, scribbled in red color pencil, said: "Bugger off!"
    When we pressed for more, another note fell from the same window a few hours later. This one is typed and signed by Gordon Lighttalker, GDG's publicist. It said: "The gnomes have passed on a message: We wish to be left alone in peace. And would you please get your fat asses off our lawn now? Thank you very much." Just as we prepared to leave, another note fell down. This one had a special message: "To those gnomes who have been wandering lost and alone, there is a place for you. Come and we will gladly welcome you." It was signed The GDG. We wish the GDG peace and prosperity. And please take good care of your gnomes.

Messages from Beyond or Wherever

We, at the AWW (Aren't We Wacky), have received messages from beyond and some other place none of us could agree on but we have agreed to make public these messages. Whether they held any meanings, it is up to the public.

01

"It is without a doubt, the other side of the universe is full of tiny unicorns all ready to throw rainbow nuts (very large ones) at whomever visits them."

02

"Don't forget the potato when you leave home."

03

"We are fated to repeat anything and everything whether we like it or not."

04

"For a good laugh, don't call jokers or comedians, call Allen, you know, that guy who sleeps on park benches and smells like the restroom. Yes, that guy. He knows a guy who knows a guy who knows another guy but whatever you do, don't tell any of these guys they smell."

05

"Bananas are a health food especially when you throw them at people who annoys you."

06

"Go left, turn a ninety degree right, there will be a bird holding a baby doll who will tell you to go right but don't listen, just turn left, then climb a hill with short trees, swim through a river full of ham sandwiches, turn a right, sweep pass the flamingo ballerinas, toward an old carousel full of retired horses, walk around it and turn left, down a unpaved path surrounded by cactuses, and there you will find the hot dog stand run by the master of the world, Sir Snortnose. He will give you wisdom that might or not be wise but you will get a free hot dog with mustards in any case."

07

"Cheese is the answer to any questions about humankind."

08

"The secrets of the universe are written in a manual hidden in an unknown planet that no one knew the directions to but everyone knew the manual was written by a five-year-old monkey with a bum rash and a love for cupcakes and cannot be trusted with any secrets."

09

"Nothing is doomed except brooms."

10

"The knowledge of mankind will continue on as long as no one gives up their rights to eat burnt toast."

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Fiction: Long Vacation to the Moon

Moona is going on a long vacation - a permanent escape to the moon. No letters of farewell. No ruse to change her mind from the plan. She sits calmly at the wait station. All her belongings surrounds her like a wall of a familiar home - a suitcase full of clothes, an umbrella almost new, a used violin brought at a garage sale and a box of keepsakes with all the things she wants with her for relocation.
    Night has almost set in. Through the tall glass windows, Moona can make out the dark shapes of the trees. While inside, the lights above shine brilliantly down upon her and hundreds of travelers who will join her in the relocation. She is not the only one heading for a far destination but she is the only one wanting to leave this world.    A week before, she has spent mending relationships and ending old ones. There has been just a few friends and neighbors but no one dear to her that she needs to say goodbye to. Not that it makes much difference. Nothing she do can really mend or end anything. She knows she will be forgotten in time. Though she may like leaving, she does not want to leave any grief behind her. All she wants is to start fresh - with the baggages of her past and even the present, behind her.
    It has been luck that Moona was chosen. She has signed her name on the list without really thinking she might have a chance. Good or bad luck, she isn't sure which but it must be good luck after all the years of bad luck. First, she lost her father, then her mother, then her two older brothers. Each time, she has wanted to escape but there is no escaping grief not even if you stand at the top of the tallest building in the world. She has tried that by standing at the top of the fourth tallest building in the world. The wind has been too wild for her to even blink. But it has made her decision a whole lot easier.
    She adjusts her glasses retrofitted into goggles especially made by the people at Planet Moon Air. It lets her see without her wearing too many layers of visual repairments or said the man with the white coat.
    A group of people in dark blue uniforms passes by. Around her, the others turn to watch as the uniformed men and women walk toward an area cornered off by black ropes with 301 on on the double doors. The two guards opened the doors and the uniformed men and women step inside and the grounds shut the doors silently. Soon, Moona will wear a uniform just like them or something similar. There has been many things she has been told to expect and yet, no one has said how the journey will affect them in the long haul. But they have all signed papers that said whatever happens, no one but the volunteer is responsible. But there is a promised future that Moona expects but knows not all things will turn out the way you expect them to.
    She takes out the pocket watch given to her by her father. There is still a five minutes left plus seven minutes. She has mirrored her father's habit of setting her watch ahead. It reminds her to always move forward. He has said, Live in the future that is not yet written, a future that might still be good. It only takes one tick of the watch dial for things to change.
    Time has not been important to Moona, not even after her family was gone. Even now, time is just time and yet, there is a part of her eagerly waiting for time to pass so that she may start her new life.
    Out of 2,500 people, only 1,201 has been selected. Even after having been chosen, it has been a long process to getting here. There has been tests - mental, physical, written such as a gravity test where they checked how long it would take you to throw up in their anti-gravity chamber. Moona lasted four hours, just one hour more than most people. There was also several other tests that has been simple but the one where they played annoying sounds such as children screaming or loud heavy metal music to see which one would last before they surrender. Moona has been used to loud noises growing up in various group homes and has lasted eight hours, three less than the lady with nine children.
    "Unit 701, please gather your belongings toward Entrance 201 and get ready for departure." The announcer's voice is clear but emotionless. The words echo gently through Moona's mind like something she has heard in a dream. Is it real? She half rises to listen as the message is repeated. She grins and begins to gather her things. For a third time, the message is said with a voice almost as loud as her fast beating heart. She is ready for her long vacation to the moon.

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Kindred Spirit Animal

Find your kindred spirit animal by picking the first letter of your first name or last name or any name. I probably don't have to tell you but these are just for fun.

Your kindred spirit animal is:
A — an alligator with no teeth but lots of wisdom
B — a bee who is a bit stingy with time
C — a cat with no hair but lots of loyalty
D — a deer with a kind disposition
E — an emu with a lot of persuasive powers
F — a fox with no sense of direction
G — a goose with an optimistic attitude
H — a horse who is a bit of a sloth
I — an impala (a type of antelope) with a quick wit
J — a jellyfish with a picky personality
K — a kangaroo with charisma
L — a lion with a quiet roar but big feet
M — a meerkat with great intelligence
N — a nurse shark with lots of patience
O — an octopus with nine arms and is very handy
P — a piglet with a small brain but is very friendly
Q — a quokka (a type of marsupial) with an endearing smile
R — a rabbit with a sense of humor
S — a sloth with charisma and is very neat
T — a tortoise who moves slow but knows a lot
U — an utonagan (a type of dog) with a love for pizza
V — a valley bulldog who likes to play 'sit' a lot
W — a weasel who is very loyal
X — an xeme (sabine's gull) who is a bit sneaky
Y — a yak who likes to laugh
Z — a zebra without stripes but with a knack for math

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Just three things

In you feel incline, answer one or all.
1 - Joy: something that makes you happy
2 - Job: something you're good at (but not necessary a job)
3 - Joke: something you heard or seen that just makes you smile or laugh every time

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My answers:
1 - Joy: jigsaw puzzles but not the digital kind
2 - Job: decluttering, probably too good at it, I sort of regret throwing some things away
3 - Joke: cute bunnies, that's today's answer, tomorrow, it may be different

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Fiction: Idle Days

The Flower Vendor On The Pont Des Arts, Paris by Victor Gabriel Gilbert

She has some beauty. Smooth hands. Pretty lips. Large vivid eyes. Or so some people has said. But she doesn't know for sure. Once, a man has complimented on her beauty but then he was trying to impression the lady beside him. There has been a few more like him but they never stuck around long enough to know her.
    Her days has been quiescent, full of idle moments. She sells her flowers and keeps time but she is never certain why. What is time when you have few moments of possibilities? Now and then, hope appears but never blooms.
    In a reflection here and there, she sometimes glimpses a different version of herself. Someone without beauty, without hope. She is a reminder of what will never pass. And yet, this mirage keeps her whole, keeps her from straying.
    Some days, she would think perhaps someone will come and will take her home and cherished her. And others days, she wanders through the streets looking at everything and finding nothing.
    Years ago, she had made a deal with some unknown being. The promise of long life and good health in exchange for her soul. At first, all is well. She hasn't had to worry about getting sick or hurt but then time slipped on and she began to feel the gloom that comes with living a long life and being alone. So she waited. And waited.
    Here she still waits with her flowers and her health. Alone. Here she must stay and wait for the end.

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Honest voicemail greetings

I really like answering machines more than voicemail on a smart phone. It's easier to ignore calls if you aren't constantly reminded you have calls. Anyway, here are some make-up voicemail greetings.

01 - I'm not in today. I may not be in tomorrow. I may not be in next week but rest assured, I am somewhere ignoring your call. In any case, please leave a message so I can ignore that too.

02 - You have reached an unauthorized number. By leaving a message, you have approved to have people in dark suits come to your house after the end of the call. They will give you a full body check and press you to take several mind tests. Be assured, they will not harm you as long as you cooperate with them. If you think you can handle all that, leave a message, and if not, hang up.

03 - Currently, there is no one at home. This might or might not be true but please leave a message if you wish to find out.

04 - We're screening all calls and if your message is not in proper grammar, we will not return your call.

05 - Please do leave a message after the beep. All messages will be re-routed to a judging official who will judge if I should return your call or not.

06 - I can't come to the phone right now and I can't tell you why but rest assured no one will get hurt if you leave a brief message but make sure you used ten words or less or else we'll all be in trouble. Just kidding. Maybe.

07 - Hello, is it me you're looking for? Then leave a message.

What kind of greetings would you leave on your voicemail?

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Fiction: The Ghost Husband

This is the right place for what she wants to do. The restaurant is dimly lit with a certain hushed gloom. Sounds around them are muffled and people speak with a certain quietude. She looks across the table at the soft outline of her husband's large figure. He appears less solid, less present. It might have been the light or it might have been her eyes. She takes another bite of her eggplant lasagna.
    The two of them sit at table ten just like every year on their wedding anniversary. Today would have been their tenth year but she is not here to celebrate but to end a marriage.
    He notes his wife's increasing speed with her intakes of her food. It is a sign she is nervous about something. He looks down at his empty plate. How long has it been since he had a hot meal? He have no answer.
    She sweeps the last of her lasagna into her mouth. The thin line round her left corner of her lips curves as she tries to smile with her mouth full. Why is the food not as fulfilling as before? She puts down her fork and takes a sip of her coffee. The bitterness of the hot liquid gives her courage. "It's time, honey. We can't be together anymore," she says.
    He nods and veers his eyes toward the center of the table at the vase with one red rose. "Of course." He understands and yet, a part of him doesn't want to understand. Haven't they been happy?
    "Don't just say 'Of course'." She takes another sip of the coffee. "I am— I was happy with you but now I have to move on. Do you understand we must part for good?"
    He smiles. "Of course I do. I love you and you love another and it's perfectly understandable to dump me and go to him."
    "Honey! That's not what I'm saying. There is no he. As much as I love you, I just can't live this life anymore." She takes another sip of her coffee. She should have asked for decaf.
    Has he been mistaken? He has been certain when she sat down in front of him not a moment ago. But as he thinks about it, why is she dumping him if there is no other man? But then he recalls something she has said. I am an independent being and if I want to leave you, it's my right. Even if it means leaving him behind. But couldn't she wait a bit longer? He wants more time with her.   
    Why is he so casual, sitting there looking like she has just told him she is going to the store for a carton of milk? She must leave quickly before he can change her mind. She sips the last of her coffee and dabbles her mouth with her napkin and puts it down. "Whether you accept it or not, you and I will never be together ever again. Please remember, I will always love you but I have to move on." She waves at a waiter to her left. "May I have the check, please?" she says. The waiter comes by with a check holder and walks away. She pulls some bills from her purse and slips them between the holder. She stands up and picks up her coat from her chair and puts it on. Then she picks up her purse off the table. "For goodness sake! Just leave me alone!" she says and races away and out the door.
    Must he leave her? It isn't right for him to hold onto her but he hates leaving her. But this time he knows is final. There is something absolute about her words. He looks around at the happy couples sitting about and enjoying each other's company. He can't even remember ever being one of them. His eyes return to the table and at the rose. He swipes a hand toward it and it falls to its side sending water all over the table cloth.
    The waiter who has been collecting the plates jumps in fright but he puts the vase upright and hurries away with everything. Another waiter comes and drapes a clean cloth over the table. Then he places a new vase with a pink rose at the center of the table but the vase tumbles on its side sending water over the new cloth. The waiter dabbles the table cloth and removes it and the vase with the rose and rushes off.
    For about a year now, table ten has been known to be haunted. Many a time, cups, napkins and such has shifted or fell over for no apparent reason but no one is ever hurt. The waiters and waitresses usually tries to be quick if they have to serve that table.
    Outside, she inhales the cold air. She has a craving for a hot bowl of hot and sour noodle soup. She usually goes to the noodle shop when she is especially frustrated by something. In that small place, she finds comfort in complaining about her dead husband to the cranky chef while he create the dishes. He understands his customers' need to talk even if he gives no reply. She turns left and down the snow-covered sidewalks toward the Goodbye Noodle shop.

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Feline Secrets For Getting Along With Humans

Through sheer determination (and a little spying), we, at the AAI (Artfully Awesome Intelligence) with the help of the FAB (Felines Are Babes) network, got our hands on this precious list for those who wish to get along with humans. It is vital that you share this information only with non-humans as humans can be awfully silly about such things. And please, share this list with any felines or any creatures who needs this.

Feline Secrets For Getting Along With Humans

Secret #1:
Don't worry about what humans think, they don't do it very often.

Secret #2:
Don't take human seriously because most humans don't.

Secret #3:
If a human neglects you or do something that stresses you out, give them sad looks. It will make them guilty enough to do anything to make you happy again.

Secret #4:
Practice the 'I don't give a damm' look and use it often. This keeps the humans from messing with you too often.

Secret #5:
Humans have a tendency to be rude, loud, crude and unable to control their emotions so ignore them if they start fighting among themselves.

Secret #6:
Do not be alarmed when humans stare at you, point fingers at you or even laugh at you. Humans are very judgmental even when they don't mean to be.

Secret #7:
Humans are dumb - accept that.

Please share responsibly. We, at the AAI, value all friends of felines and creatures alike and will not tolerate disrespectful behavior. Thank you and have a friendly day.

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Errors - A Rambling

Errors, mistakes, they happen and I shouldn't dwell too much on them and yet, I continue to correct any errors I made even after a long time had passed but with less frequency now. Even when I have checked something hundreds of times, there are still mistakes and some I don't even notice. So why do I bother to keep correcting them? I know I have to give up trying to get everything right but sometimes a mistake just can't be ignored. And this isn't just for writing or blogging but for everything. What about you? Do you fix your errors even when it might be a bit late?

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Dumb Dweets

Dweet, according to the Urban Dictionary means, A tweet sent while drunk. I'm not writing these under any influence except maybe crankiness for lack of sleep or lack of food (written before lunch) or just plain crankiness. These may or may not be 140 characters.

01

last night, I ate an orange that turned out to be a tangerine

02

my fake plants died because I remembered to forget to water them

03

I got hit in the head by a UFO - unidentified flying oreo - and enjoyed it

04

there was a raging storm last night but it didn't explain how my neighbor's fridge ended up in my kitchen with him beside it

05

got a t-shirt with 'fat cat' for my skinny cat and now he's too fat to take it off

06

yesterday at noon, I walked along a graveyard and talked to a ghost who knew how I can win the lotto

07

I got lost in a black hole last night & woke up covered in black ink

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Copyright Notices

I would put one of these on my blog except I like to be polite. Do these sound mean? Probably but thieves don't deserve any type of kindness. (Miss Dotdot is one my alias although I only use it for fun things such as these.)

01 - Blab, blab, blab, this is a copyright notice. I, Miss Dotdot, own this stuff but you already know that. Please do not take my stuff and pretend they are yours but you already know that too. It's not even worth my time to write this warning as I think anyone who steals have no brain and probably isn't smart enough to read this notice. If you can read this, then why do I need to tell you not to steal?

02 - You may share my work as long as you give the proper credit but if you steal or copy my work and claim them as your own, please set yourself on fire. Thank you.

03 - Thank you for not stealing my stuff. You may or may not believe it but whenever someone steals one of my stuff, 107 years of bad luck will fall upon them. This is not your ordinary bad luck but one that follows you wherever you go and for every single day you are alive, your heart will be broken again and again. If you want to avoid such bad luck, be kind, don't steal.

04 - These stuff are mine. I won't tell you not to steal them. But I will tell you, it's unkind to take what's not yours and also very dangerous because it would make Karma mad. She can be a bit bitchy when you do dumb things like that. She will not only kick your ass, she will kick your head and then the rest of your body. If she gets really mad, she will make sure you get to spend your life cleaning up after very badly hygiene people in very tight spaces. Just a friendly reminder. Have a lovely day.

05 - This blog's stuff is owned by Miss Dotdot unless otherwise stated. You may share them but remember to give proper credit. If you share them by removing the credit or by putting your name on them, please remember you're an asshat.

06 - Unless otherwise stated, all this stuff - ramblings and all - belong to me. You might be pleased to know I will not stick a lawyer at you or chase you or fight you. But there will be cursing, yelling and some stares that may or may not cause you to turn to stone or burst into flames. Just saying... Thank you and have a lovely day.

07 - Keep calm and never steal but if you do, a small part of your soul will die a slow and painful death. Have a lovely day.

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

Fiction: Backward and Forward

Sunlight on Brownstones by Edward Hopper

Every moment she lives is a déjà vu moment. It isn't just a feeling, it is a reality. Throughout her life, she has lived in repeated tragedies. Many a time, she has calculated and measured the probabilities of the same event happening more than once but she has not found the answer on how to avoid the same tragic end, not until she realized she have to be the one to make the hard choices.
    Often times, she is a logical being but her emotions somehow cause her logic to change. But one thought always follows her: Will what she do or not do change anything? She has doubted every decision on every matter. She has spent years on some decisions, others took seconds. Whether to move backward or forward is her choice. She can live in the past and never change anything but things change, time moves forward and there is no stopping either one. So she moves on through her choices.
    As she sits under the early morning light with her husband of two days, she ponders nothing at all. What is there to gain by thinking? And yet, nagging thoughts linger in the back of her mind: Will this end soon? Will someone come and destroy her happiness? As much as she wants this, she knows, it is wrong. She has manipulated situations and someone died in order to get this outcome. But as he speaks of eating a hearty breakfast before going for a walk, she pushes aside those nagging thoughts and follows him inside. This is her time to live a happy life, if only for a short while.

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.

A or A: Alien or Attitude?

Today is the start of the 2023 A-Z Challenge and I thought I start with something fun. The questions may or may not make sense but I did sort of think they are kind of logical in some way and if not, well, they aren't meant to be taken seriously. Have fun!

Have you ever wondered if you're from another planet or you just have an overactive attitude? If so, you're in luck. We, at the AAI (Artfully Awesome Intelligence) have developed the Alien or Attitude Test (also known as the A or A test) to help you find that out. Please note, the A or A test is not FDA (Federation of Dontknow Anything) approved and it may only be 0.00000000001% accurate. It is, however, approved by the AAAA (Adopt An Alien Association) and the AMUSES (Annoyed Matrons of United Strange and Enchanting Specimens) Institute and the MARS (Mothers Against Rudeness & Stupidity) Association but is vehemently disapproved by the ARMS (Annoyed Rebels & Motherless Souls) society but only slightly disapproved by the AAB (Attitude Adjustment Bureau). Please, answer each question as best as you can.

01 - What shape is a slice of pizza?
A - Triangle
B - Square
C - Doesn't matter as long as it's pizza
D - None of the above

02 - There's a box that is sealed with no labels. What do you think is inside the box?
A - Nothing
B - Open the box and see
C - None of my business what's inside
D - None of the above

03 - What do you find at the end of a street?
A - Another street
B - People
C - Screw that! That's the dumbest questions I've ever heard
D - None of the above

04 - How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
A - One
B - None, get a man to do it
C - Don't care as long as it got changed
D - None of the above

05 - Where does chocolate milk comes from?
A - At the grocery store
B - Cows that are engineered to do so
C - Why do you need to know? Find it out yourself.
D - None of the above

06 - What has a face, two hands but no arms or legs and does not move?
A - A broken clock
B - A poorly-made clock
C - A clock I threw at you for asking such a dumb question
D - None of the above

07 - If pants have two legs, how many legs does a skirt have?
A - One
B - Depends who wears the skirt
C - Who wants to know? I like to punch that fellow.
D - None of the above

08 - Can you fit a large square shape into a small round hole?
A - No
B - Why do you ask?
C - Just give me a hammer and I'll get you get the answer
D - None of the above

09 - If you have a cup that holds 207 pencils and someone removes the cup and one pencil, how many pencils do you have left?
A - 206
B - Before I answer, was the cup stolen by an alien?
C - I refuse to do math
D - None of the above

10 - Where do you think with a box?
A - I don't
B - What kind of box is it?
C - Anywhere, I don't need a stupid box to think
D - None of the above

RESULTS:
If you get mostly A's, you're an Alien but don't worry, we, at AAI, will help you come to terms with it or you can simply pretend you've never taken the test and go get yourself something sweet if you're not allergic.

If you get mostly B's, you're half an Alien and half having an Attitude but don't worry, you're very much like all the humans around you so do continue whatever you're doing.

If you get mostly C's, you've an overactive Attitude but don't worry, you're very much like all the humans around you, simply carry on as usual unless you think you need help and in that case, contact the AAB (Attitude Adjustment Bureau), they will gladly help you with whatever you need.

If you get mostly D's, you're an Anomaly but don't worry, this may be an error on the test or you're just so unique that whatever gets thrown at you, nothing happens. Go and get yourself a burger or chase a rabbit down a hole or do anything you like.

If you get multiple answers such as having even numbers of both As and Cs, then consider yourself half an Alien and half having an Attitude, go and get a snack and enjoy your day.

Notice: We, at the AAI, care very much about the people who choose to take this rather unusual test. If this test cause you harm, mental or physical, please accept our apology and get a free DAMM (Donuts, Anxiety & Mad Movements) therapy session. Thank you and have a grand day.

For more about the A-Z Challenge, go here.