Fiction: Backward and Forward

Sunlight on Brownstones by Edward Hopper

Every moment she lives is a déjà vu moment. It isn't just a feeling, it is a reality. Throughout her life, she has lived in repeated tragedies. Many a time, she has calculated and measured the probabilities of the same event happening more than once but she has not found the answer on how to avoid the same tragic end, not until she realized she have to be the one to make the hard choices.
    Often times, she is a logical being but her emotions somehow cause her logic to change. But one thought always follows her: Will what she do or not do change anything? She has doubted every decision on every matter. She has spent years on some decisions, others took seconds. Whether to move backward or forward is her choice. She can live in the past and never change anything but things change, time moves forward and there is no stopping either one. So she moves on through her choices.
    As she sits under the early morning light with her husband of two days, she ponders nothing at all. What is there to gain by thinking? And yet, nagging thoughts linger in the back of her mind: Will this end soon? Will someone come and destroy her happiness? As much as she wants this, she knows, it is wrong. She has manipulated situations and someone died in order to get this outcome. But as he speaks of eating a hearty breakfast before going for a walk, she pushes aside those nagging thoughts and follows him inside. This is her time to live a happy life, if only for a short while.

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