IWSG July 2025: Do you like pen names?

One reason to use pen names (aka pseudonyms) is to write under someone else but I guess these days, even if someone uses pen names, they just reveal their real name so it's no secret who is who so what's the point of using a pen name if everyone know who you are?
    I like pen names as they are way more creative, unique and easier to pronounce. Recently I read a short story collection titled, Bodies from the Library: Lost Tales of Mystery and Suspense from the Golden Age of Detection, and in the author bios, tons of authors used pen names. These authors probably didn't go about telling people their real names but then again, social media hadn't been invented so it was probably easier to keep your name a secret.
    I think every person, whether you are a writer or not, deserve to have a name they want or like even if is not legalized. We're in a society where names are sometimes ridiculed which is just rude of people. But I don't think people have to stick to the name they are given. At least, not completely. Also, I side with female authors who altered their names to a more masculine or androgynous name because of how unequal gender is. This is why you get all these authors with initials for first names and yes, I got my pen name from that idea because why not?
    Names, whether real or not, is makeup because no one have a name tattooed to their butt when they are born. It's because our names are legalized, we accept them as truth which is true but a person's name is still makeup or else how to explain people being able to change their name (legally or otherwise)?

What do you think of pen names?
  
[More about the group over at the Insecure Writer’s Support Group blog here]

Book Rants - June 2025

The summer heat does not induce the urge to read so I read less than usual. But here are the books I read in June.

01 - A Slash of Emerald (Dr. Julia Lewis #2) by Patrice McDonough
What's about: art, murder, salacious men
This was good but lots of tough subjects - pornography, sex, slavery, hence salacious men. The ending (probably not a spoiler) with one of the main character leaving town abruptly is just another ploy I dislike. And people not communicating with each other, so this is a slow-burn romance but honestly, they should just get the romance over with so they can move on to the mysteries/murders but sadly, that's not how book series work. The third book is not released yet but I'll probably read it.

02 - The Anatomist's Apprentice (A Dr. Thomas Silkstone Mystery#1) by Tessa Harris
What's it about: autopsies, murders, romance, perverts, gross-out scenarios
Too many usages of similes and metaphors, almost after every two or three sentences, too many two-word names such as Lovelock, Fairweather, Peabody, Claddingbowl, Finesilver, Silkstone (the main character), a couple of perverts, a few gross scenes (i.e., autopsies, descriptions of dead bodies) - do we need two scenes of two different men getting their tooth pulled? I'm just glad I don't know the names of most internal organs or else I would not be able to read this.
    The mystery of the murders are okay but I think the culprit, or the main culprit seems lacking somehow. And the central romance is fine but really, why does it need it but then again, it's the main reason the main character took on the case - he fell in love with the dead guy's sister. And the title, The anatomist's apprentice, I thought the main character is the anatomist but I guess he's the apprentice but whatever, I'm not going to continue the series. I just don't like how this is written.

03 - Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
What's it about: marriage, the past, one girl's first marriage, death
90% of the book is the nameless main character/narrator, the second Mrs. de Winter whose name is never disclosed, imagining scenarios (things that never happened), being overly emotional, overthinking about every little thing, being pessimistic, being paranoid, being insecure, giving extensive details to everything nature-related and 10% is the mystery of Rebecca and Manderley (the house).
    I thought this is too slow-moving and nothing much really happens until the end. I guess I was hoping for more of the mystery instead of the every day drama of a naive wife and a husband, Maxim de Winter, who most of the time treats his wife like a child and never seems to be communicating to her about anything and never seems to be around. Let's just say, these two characters are boring without Rebecca. Even the housekeeper, Mrs. Danvers, seems to have no no personality if not her devotion to Rebecca.
    We live in the main character's head way too much and she seems to avoid things that reveals more plot (by declining to do things) as if to slow the pace even more. In a way, this book is like a prelude to the secret of Rebecca because without that ending, nothing really did happen. To me, the ending is not a twist, more like a revelation that answer the mystery of Rebecca's death and it ends like there should have been more.
    I wonder why this is a romance or why people like this book when [SPOILERS AHEAD: Maxim killed his first wife, Rebecca, got away with it as there is no evidence to prove it. The second wife, the nameless character, just accepts it because he loves her and not Rebecca, and that is all that matters to her. Really? Why didn't the revelation that her husband killed another human being, mainly his first wife, bother her or frighten her? She's willing to be with him because he loves her and not Rebecca? The fact that Rebecca was a rotten human being and provoked Maxim to kill her doesn't mean it's right she was killed. Supposedly they soften the killing by making the fact that she was dying of some disease which is stupid. END SPOILERS]
    This is compared to Jane Eyre and I say, nope, nothing like Jane Eyre, there might be some similar things but it's barely a comparison. Apparently there seems to be a sequel but I won't be reading that since I find this too dull and only finish it to find out the mystery of Rebecca's death - that's really the only appealing thing.

04 - Bodies from the Library: Lost Tales of Mystery and Suspense from the Golden Age of Detection by various authors
What's it about: crimes, murders, short stories, early works
Out of the 16 stories (2 are plays), I like the first two stories and the last one (which is by Agatha Christie) and the rest are rather dull. I think since these are early works, they aren't that great because even great authors have not-so-great early writings. The biographies of the authors are interesting and list perhaps better works of these authors to check out. I have not read any works from these authors before aside from Agatha Christie. There's no libraries in any of the stories but I guess the title is referring to Agatha Christie's novel, The body in the library.

Have you read any good books lately?

A semi-organized digital life

I am, more or less, digital with my artworks and writings and my blog and previous blogs and various other things so I have thousands of digital files. They accumulate even when I try to delete and sort them. You might think if you can see everything at once, files on your screen and not physical boxes surrounding you, it would be easy to organize them but nope. But at least I'm semi-organized.
    I usually make folders and name them with numbers at the beginning in order of importance and sometimes if I want a folder at the top I use zeros so my folders look like this:

Example A

    I sort them by name so the numbered folders are in the order I want. And then there are sub folders within these folders so I have folders like these:

Example B

Example C

For my artwork, I organize them by years (see example B) so that's pretty simple. For my blogs, I also organized by years and then by months (see example C). For my writing, I mostly end up with folders such as finished, in progress or maybe finished. And for other things, it's whatever I thought makes most sense.
    I have two main folders - one for archived files (files I'm done with) and one for recent files (things I'm still working on) so I know where to put files. Having two main folders helps to keep clutter down although I'm more organized with my finished files than my recent files. It's gotten easier to find the files I want ever since I got organized with my files.
    Of course there is no single, perfect solution to organizing files because files (and folders) get changed, renamed or even sometimes corrupted but mostly I get messy and end up with loose files (sometimes with temporary names) not in folders. So I'll keep re-re-re-organizing my files until, well, who knows when. (Note: I use Macs only but I imagine you can organize files pretty much the same on any type of computer systems.)

How do you organize your digital files?

Fiction: A disorderly dinner

This month's Words for Wednesday prompts are provided by Hilary Melton-Butcher and is hosted at Elephant's Child over here. This week's prompts are: tennis, Turkish, delight, melon, brook and/or officers, steps, conclusion, earliest, pan, asparagus.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Fiction: A disorderly dinner
The asparagus had gotten cold but no one dared to leave any on their plate. A bird cry rang out 9 o'clock. The guests were fidgeting in their seats, widening their shirt collars, rolling up their sleeves, tying up long hair and fanning their faces. Did Mariel turn off the air conditioner? It was her house and no one liked to dispute her.
    This dinner was to celebrate Frank's return home. All 31 family members were there. As they started on the tomato soup, a few whispered conversations began.
    A little later, the clock struck ten with another bird cry. They all turned to glance at it, most wishing it was time to leave.

Fiction: The almanac of motherly advices

This month's Words for Wednesday prompts are provided by Hilary Melton-Butcher and is hosted at Elephant's Child over here. This week's prompts are: almanac, vegetables, smoke, rocky, pursuit and/or tides, data, pearly, block, hedge.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Fiction: The almanac of motherly advices
In the almanac of motherly advices given to her by her grandmother, June Apples searches for the answer to her dilemma. She runs a finger down the index under F for fights but there is none so she flips back a few pages and searches the A's for arguments and turns toward the particular page.
    If your husband or partner hits you and blames you for doing something wrong when you didn't, strike back.
    She has been correct. Looking down at her unconscious husband on the floor, she smiles. The set of frying pans Paul got for her 30th birthday has been useful after all. Now, should she eat dinner first or take Paul to the hospital?
    As she washes the vegetables, she ponders why she regrets marrying Paul. He, not only demands his meals ready for him every day, he also expects her to keep their apartment clean with barely enough money to purchase a bottle of bleach or even an orange. On weekends, she has to help entertain the brothers' friends who eats and drinks freely and never pays either brothers anything. A housekeeper would have done the same things but she would probably get paid while June can't even get a dollar for a band-aid.
    The almanac says marriage makes people happy but June doesn't seem to be one of them. She wonders if her pursuit of happiness should have involved marriage. As she eats the chicken and vegetable casserole, she tries not to breathe in the scent of Paul's cigars which he smokes once a day.
    When she is finished clearing away the dishes, the doorbell rings. June hesitates in answering. The clock on the livingroom wall says five minutes after nine - the time when Paul's older brother comes for his weekly visits.
    Junes walks over toward Paul lying on the couch with a blanket over him. She holds a finger under his nose. Faint air. Still alive. She pulls the blanket over his head. He doesn't like sleeping with the lights on.
    She suddenly recalls watching the tides while sitting alone on the sand on the beach. The water had looked like pearly gems, sparkling under the bright sunlight. But then the clouds came and blocked the lights and made everything dull and lifeless. That day was June's tenth birthday and her family's promise to spend a day with her on the beach was forgotten because the light breeze was too much for June's nine-year-old brother, James, even though a wind machine couldn't have budged James' oversized body. June refused to leave so they just left her. It was the eighth time they left her alone on her birthday. She didn't know why she kept hoping they would change but that day, she stopped waiting.
    June dismisses the memory and picks up the largest frying pan and proceeds to open the door. Rocky, with his wide eyes on the verge of popping out, stalks inside. June closes the door.
    "How are you doing, sister?" he says. His sneer makes her want to slap him. He moves closer to her and opens his arms wide. "How about some sisterly love for your brother?"
    "Sure," she says and strikes him on the head with the frying pan. He falls to the floor, unconscious. Her fingers weakens and the pan slips from her hands and lands on the wooden floor with a loud bang. Did she give him too much sisterly love? She checks his pulse. Nope. Just right.
    Paul has always hedged on the issue of Rocky molesting her. He keeps saying Rocky is just being brotherly. June had let it go thinking when Paul gets promoted, they can afford to move to their own house and away from Rocky's charity as it is his apartment building they are living in but it has been four years and Paul has yet to get that promotion.
    After a few moments of frozen fear, June walks back to the table where she has left the almanac. With a shaking hand, she flips the pages until she finds the answer. When you're in trouble and you doubt what to do, go on vacation. Yes, the almanac is right. She needs a vacation. Perhaps Hawaii or some small island where people still uses real phones and mail takes a few weeks to get anywhere.
    Without hesitation, she takes a spoon from the kitchen and enters the bathroom. Kneeling on the floor, she pries the tile up by the toilet and lifts out from the hole the plastic-wrapped bundle of cash and puts the tile back in place with bits of toothpaste to make it stick. Back out in the livingroom, she takes Rocky's keys from his jacket pocket and marches out of the apartment and next door to Rocky's where she does the same thing. The brothers often share the same habits as taught by their father.
    Back at the apartment, June finishes with her packing and drags the suitcase toward the door but pauses to glance at Paul and Rocky. Has she become a statistic? There was a show she had seen about spousal behaviors and the data revealed most violent crimes are committed by a spouse against another spouse. Statistic or not, she's not a killer. She takes out Paul's phone from his pants pocket and calls for an ambulance. In the future, she will never marry again. No marriage is worth going through hell.

IWSG June 2025: Short Author Bios

I often read those short author bios (or what I call mini bios) at the end or at the beginning of a book or the back of book jackets and find them quite easy to read but to write them is not so easy. How can you write a couple of sentences (under 200 words or less) and give people a basic portrait of who you are? I have noticed most bios consisted of these things: your name, education, job title and function, experience, accomplishments/accolades, where you live, something personal and usually written in third person. But these bios change with the author so accolades are added later and any changes to the author's life is also reflected. How creative and what you choose to share is up to you but I have noticed most bios are straight forward with bare information. For me, I would put only things that I'm comfortable to share.
    Here are some drafts of my author bio. If you feel incline, give me your honest thoughts on them and pick the one you think is the best. (M. Faith is my pen name.)

~ 01 ~
A transplant New Yorker, M. Faith often likes to believe she is a high-functioning and quiet introvert but shares her bias thoughts freely on her blog. While not working as a graphic designer, she spends a bit too much time roaming the web. When she is writing, she is often lost in whatever wormholes she may hypothetically find while pursuing a character who may have a penchant for disappearing into thin air.

~ 02 ~
M. Faith is a graphic designer by day and by night (and all other free hours), she is a multi-task blogger with a penchant for writing paranormal stories full of obstinate heroines and disguised good guys. A transplant New Yorker, she rarely leaves home but loves to travel around the internet.

~ 03 ~
M. Faith is a public-school educated graphic designer, writer, artist, blogger, procrastinator and sometimes rebel. She lives in New York and has never wandered too far from home but likes to travel when writing, often going off to worlds full of paranormal beings and highly obstinate heroines.

~ 04 ~
M. Faith is a transplant New Yorker who graduated from the Fashion Institute of Technology with a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree. Currently working as a graphic designer, she spends her free time running a personal blog where she complains too much and shares her artworks and short fictions. Sometimes when she has the motivation, she writes stories with a penchant for the paranormal, the weird and the mildly amusing.

~ 05 ~
M. Faith is a lifelong introvert with a history of talking too much on the internet especially on her blog. She is a life-long book lover with a penchant for writing paranormal stories with weird and highly stubborn heroines.

How would you write your mini bio? I invite you to write your mini bio in the comments or on your blog.
  
[More about the Insecure Writer’s Support Group blog here]

Book Rants - May 2025

This ends my Mary Higgins Clark reading phase since there are no more Clark books available at the library for me to read but I have enjoyed them. And will probably read them if more becomes available. Here are the books I've finished reading in May.

01 - Moonlight becomes you by Mary Higgins Clark
What's it about: murder, elderly people, money, funerals
This one was really good though I did correctly guess the culprit which I rarely do - can't say if this makes this a good book or not.

02 - Santa Cruise (Alvirah & Willy #6 & Regan Reilly Mysteries #9.5) by Mary Higgins Clark & Carol Higgins Clark
What's it about: cruise, felons in hiding, thievery
This book is part of two series but you don't have to read the other books to read this one. This is not like a Mary Higgins Clark kind of book, no suspense, at least, none that seems like it. It just feels like a cozy mystery that is probably too much cozy and not enough mystery and it's mildly amusing.

03 - I heard that song before by Mary Higgins Clark
What's it about: past crimes, missing girl, murder trial
The idea that a woman would marry a guy she knew a mere week even knowing he might have killed two women always like a dumb thing to do but I guess that's love. This was okay. I didn't really care enough for any of the characters so that's why it's kind of dull to me.

04 - Under Suspicion series by Mary Higgins Clark & Alafair Burke
What's it about: reality tv show about old cases, murder, kidnapping, stalking, very bias people
I didn't read this series in order due to library availability. I think book 7 is the best of the bunch though I haven't read book 1 and 2 due to no ebook format available. Most of these end with swift endings or short endings where we get the answer but no details of what happens after and sometimes it felt incomplete. Some cases could have ended sooner but there were fillers about the main character's (Laurie) personal life that make getting to the answers longer.
    I'm here for the cases/mysteries but Laurie's personal life is half of every book. Laurie's boyfriend, Alex, seemed like a good guy but In book #4, he was an ass. This man dumped Laurie so she would know what's it's like to lose him so that she would come crawling back to him - is this the behavior of a man who loves a woman and who had said he was willing to wait for her until she was ready to have him in her life permanently but his wait time meant a little less than two years. He wanted her to get over her dead husband like she could just do it easily.
    I lost all respect for Alex in book 4 and every time I read about him in later books, I just thought what an asshole. In book 5, the case is basically there to show Laurie the way to her true happiness (sprinkle some sarcasm here) and that she have to get Alex back which she did, not a surprise at all. Now if Alex had gotten shot or maimed somehow on Laurie's behalf, I might like him again a little but nope, he's not only in perfect health, his career skyrocketed and he's living the best life. So what if he feels remorse, it does not redeemed Alex's ass behavior. I also lost respect for Laurie for taking Alex back after he made her suffered. Why didn't she wait for him to crawl back to her? Laurie already have two good men in her life, her caring father and her sweet son (okay, he's still a child) but she doesn't need Alex for her happiness. If the message that a woman cannot be happy without a man than I don't agree. And this is written by two women. Why do we need this relationship drama when Laurie, time and again in almost every book, almost get killed?
    The series have no conclusions because it's one those series where it's a different case for each book but if you care about Laurie's love life, then read in order but I'm here for the mysteries/cases.

05 - Save the cat! Writes a Novel by Jessica Brody
What's it about: writing advices, writing fiction reference
With any how-to books, it all depends on the reader but I find this a pretty decent guide. Their 15-story-beat method sounds like a good way to write a novel which is the entire book. This is a bit repetitive with the summaries but I guess that's how they make it longer. And there are spoilers for a lot of books and now I will never read Misery by Stephen King nor The Help by Kathryn Stockett - one is scary and the other has a disgusting/gross out bit. The pep talk at the end of the book is quite good. But like all how-to books, it only works if you actually try it but I haven't try the method yet.

Have you read any good books lately?

Are you a Luddite?

One of the meaning of Luddite according to Merriam-Webster is, one who is opposed to especially technological change. I may not be a Luddite but sometimes I seem to be. I don't update/upgrade my apps or my computer's operating system (OS) or even get a new computer often because every time I do, there is a lot of work involved. I only ever get a new computer when my current one goes kaput. Or when I really need one. (Note: Update and upgrade are two different things. Upgrade is a major change while update is a minor change. For easier reference, I'll just use update only. Note 2: I use Macs.)
    It's impossible to be always up to date when it comes to technology so I often I don't even try to be up to date unless necessity requires it. Even if you buy a new computer and get all new apps and new devices and new everything related to that new computer, there might still be problems. A glitch here, a glitch there. A file won't open. A file open in the wrong way. Lots of things can go wrong. I only ever had one or two glitch-free updates. Most of the time, there are issues.
    I was going to list those issues I encountered when updating but they all led to the same two things: (1) updates requires more updates which my computer may not have the required technology (such as memory or power) to make it possible and (2) any improvements that the computer and app makers made aren't always an improvement and that creates problems. Also, I have to think of the cost as new apps might cost more and new computers definitely cost more. If possible, I would use the same computer, the same OS, the same apps but it's not practical. So I'm willing to update but I just might be stubborn about it.

Are you a Luddite? Do you update your computers and apps often?

Fiction: A Stranger of Home

This month's Words for Wednesday prompts are provided by David M. Gascoigne and is hosted at Elephant's Child over here. This week's prompts are: elbows, imagine, canal, heavily, population and/or mocked months, annex, support, casino.

Fiction: A Stranger of Home
He finds everything familiar but a little strange. After all the work learning the ways, Moon Chow should be automatically doing everything as if he have done it before and yet, he is unable to proceed without some cautious double thinking. At his age (nearly 30), he is an adult but back home, he would be a child but he needs to forget that. He needs to forget everything he knew from before.
    This is his home-away-from-home permanent home now. His old home, long destroyed and in millions of pieces, can never be forgotten. If not for his foster father, Crud, Moon would have died with his family. But Crud has dumped Moon here and went off 'to farther education himself' as he puts it but Moon knows he is in some casino gambling away.
    But Crud has given Moon everything he needed - an identity, a house, a job as a janitor at a college and a driver's license though if asked, he should decline driving any automobile because he have not learned to drive but Crud said it's perfectly normal to never drive. Being somewhat lazy about names, Crud had picked Moon's name out of a menu at a cafe for a special named The Moon Chowder Jumble. His own name, Crud Pierce, came from a bet which Crud had lost along with his ship.
    As he shifts in the chair between a large man and a small woman, one of Moon's elbows hit the back of the chair. He imagines shrinking down and fitting in like water in a canal, moving in the same direction and blending in just enough not to be noticed he doesn't quite fit in.
    Should he have relied heavily on Crud's human annex? For four decades, Crud had been working on the annex while living around and studying humans. And for ten years Moon had knew Crud, he had been a great supporter of his annex. In this small town with a population under two thousand, where Crud had left Moon, it should be easy for Moon to fit in or so Crud had said. But Moon isn't sure he can trust Crud or his annex anymore.
    Two months ago, the Wilsons, who lived next door, had invited Moon to their holiday party and he had said yes because without Crud, Moon missed company. In this room, in the Wilson's house with the snow falling outside, Moon isn't sure why he misses Crud. It has been 367 days since he saw Crud. The man has barely been a father and he always refers to the annex instead of explaining things. The thought that Moon might never see Crud again freaks him out but he has resolved to continue no matter what.
    Looking again at the new faces, he is reminded he is alone and there is no cure for that except to make friends. Quietly, he plays with the veal he has cut to pieces. Overtime, he has found one person can be easy to get along with while another is like a thorn that pricks everyone. Mocking seems to be a favorite pastime. Moon has learned silence seems to be the best reply when someone mocks you, that, or just laugh along which to Moon is like accepting the ridicule so often he stays silent. He can picture people mocking Crud for being a lousy gambler but that wouldn't happen since Crud likes to get drunk afterward and hide somewhere to sleep off his losses.   
    It seems like Moon has been here for ages and yet, he still does not think of this small town as his home or the people here his friends and families. But he has learned, if someone engages him, he would engage back. That's how humans get along. He recalls the chapter on human relations but of course he is to forget everything he has learned because it should have been automatic. But as he raises his glasses to toast to happiness, he wonders if happiness is necessary to be human.

Cooler hues for the summer

I've changed my header and background color on my blog for a cooler hue for summer. As I look at my blog often when previewing posts, I prefer to have cool tones in the summer (and warm tones in the winter). It helps with the hot weather. Of course I can't help but tweaked the design slightly though just the main name.

previous header

new header

I also change my curtains to greens and blues at home and also some artworks. I think it did help to keep cool. Just like having a bright yellow curtains makes a room seems warmer but it may all be an illusion but I do believe colors create certain moods so why not change what you can.

Do you change your environment to cooler or warmer hues for seasonal changes?

Blogging from A-Z - Road Trip 2025

Alternative road trip badge A

Alternative road trip badge B

Reading Charlotte's post (link here) convinced me to join in the Blogging from A-Z Road Trip challenge. It's a second chance to visit the blogs I might had missed. When the A-Z challenge started, I had gone through the master list (containing all the participants) every couple of days until the closing sign-up date and picked blogs to visit based on their themes or in some cases, no themes. Maybe I might have dismissed some blogs a bit too hasty.
    I will limit my visits to a few blogs because my wifi keeps going off and on so it's a little hard to stay online. I made Road Trip badges so if you're participating, feel free to use one or both badges on your blog. [More about the Road Trip at the A-Z blog here.]

Here are my Blogging from A-Z Challenge April 2025 posts links:

• awkwardly awesome april • brevity • criminal (fiction) • diva (fiction) • erase • follow • grumpy • headphones (fiction) • impulse • java • kerfuffle (fiction) • lackadaisical • mundane

• noodles • ocean (fiction) • postcards • quirk • rainbow (fiction) • speechless • two • umbrella • vicarious • witch (fiction) • xoxo • yatter • zine

Did you participate in the Blogging from A-Z Challenge last month? If so, are you doing the Road Trip?

Book Rants - April 2025

It seems suddenly a lot of Mary Higgins Clark's books are available as ebooks at my library so I decided to read all that are available. She really is the queen of suspense but I have to admit, sometimes it does seems like I'm reading the same book only with different characters but they kept me entertained so I'll keep reading them. I do find Clark's book endings almost always ends in marriage or engagement so that's a bit of fun to note. Here are the books I read last month.

01 - Where are you now? by Mary Higgins Clark
What's it about: missing people, murders, grieving, money
This was really good. One can think of so many solutions why a person would go missing for years but when you read on, it became clear what it was. Still, I think the culprit/murderer seemed like a surprise but then again, I had listed almost all the male characters as suspects. This ends with a marriage.

IWSG May 2025: Slightly above mediocre

This months question is: Some common fears writers share are rejection, failure, success, and lack of talent or ability. What are your greatest fears as a writer? How do you manage them?

My fears, out of many as a writer, is being mediocre and not having readers. I'm not a published author but I do post stories on my blog and that maybe gets read. I like to believe my writing is slightly above mediocre and sometimes on days when I especially thought myself clever, even a tad higher than that. I know I'm not born with an innate writing talent so I do work hard at it. Most of the time. Maybe I can be a bit lazy with grammar and maybe I get tired of editing my own writing that I sometimes don't work too hard at it.
    Even we are not picky about grammar and structure, we can be picky about what we like. People's preferences can make them dislike what they read. This doesn't change how authors write or at least, I don't think it should. I prefer to write what I want to read so even there is no audience, that's something that I can accept.
    I do try all the time to improve my writing but there is so much you can improve after a while. So I try not to think about if what I write and share is mediocre or not but whether I would enjoy reading it. But mostly, I just keep on writing.
  
[More about the group over at the Insecure Writer’s Support Group blog here]

Some ramblings about last month (April 2025)

spring blooms, 2025

As a blogger, I sometimes have a need to share and I guess this is why I blog. Anyway, I'm sure I did other things other than the three things listed below but now I can't remember but I do remember doing some not-very-stressful work. (I work as a graphic designer.) Here are some ramblings about April.

01 - I finished the April Blogging from A-Z challenge and I think I did pretty well. It's a bit of a challenge to write a post a day but I think it's a good challenge to test my patience and endurance. You can read about my thoughts about it here.

02 - For two stressful days in April, I went to jury duty. If it didn't involve speaking in front of an audience (as the potential jurors are all gathered in the same room and talk in front of various people), it wouldn't be so bad. Public speaking to me is torture. Public speaking about myself (which each juror had to do) is pure torture. At least we get a questionnaire to answer so I don't have to think up what to say but I was panicking internally every moment. I can't even remember what I had said. Then there were discussions between lawyers and the potential jurors that really seemed to be repeating the same: Can you be trusted to judge without prejudices or bias? So the judge said there are no wrong or right answers but it's like being back in school where you would be embarrassed no matter what you say. There was a lot of waiting around. If I didn't have a word search puzzle book to distract me, I might had gone a little mad.
    I didn't get picked for service which I am extremely grateful for as the trial was likely to last for weeks. And it was a murder trial and I read murder mysterious which made it quite unreal.
    During security check, they confiscated my tiny Swiss army knife - it's about 3 inch by 1 inch. And my shoes set off the metal detector for no reason. They were plain dress shoes so I doubt there were metal in them but who knows.
    Anyway, it was an anxious two days I'll never get back but it wasn't entirely horrible but I wish to never to do it again but sadly, the government keeps finding me because I've never moved.

03 - The whole month, I was doing New York Times' Wordle (link here) and sometimes Quordle (link here) which is the same but sort of like four Wordle instead of one but they have different challenge levels. I think I'll be doing Wordle for a long while. Still haven't created an account at New York Times but I'm fine with just playing without keeping score/record.

How was your April? I hope May is being good to you.

A-Z April 2025 Challenge: Reflection

Here are some ramblings about my experience in finishing the Blogging From A-Z challenge this year. More about the challenge over here. (The theme I had for my alternative a-z badges is beginning or spring so that's why the sun and plant/tree graphics above. You can see the badges here in this post.)

01 - I had picked three words and let the readers choose which one I will be rambling about or if I have an inkling, tell a (fictional) story. This was maybe a good idea but readers don't seem to want to choose so then I decided I can choose the word if it gets too late to post. Since I have to wait for people to choose the words, I have to write/post on the same day so that means just a few hours to write each post which is a bit nerve-wracking but still kind of fun.

02 - I made a list of blogs I was going to visit (from the master list) - a very short list because I want to make it easier for myself. I admit there are many themes I have no interest in but I did visit all the blogs on the master list (except for the adult content ones) just to check them out.

03 - Before the challenge started, I had made coffee mugs with the alphabets so I don't have to think up or make images/graphics for each post which lowers the stress (see above and below).

04 - I debated on leaving a link (to my a-z posts) whenever I leave a comment. I don't want people to think they have to visit me back but at the same time, I want to make it easier for people to visit me. So in the end, I left some links but not a lot.

05 - I did get a little lazy at commenting toward the end. I really do try to leave a comment but my attention span seemed to wane a lot. Plus my wi-fi sometimes had nervous breakdowns just for fun so sometimes I'm not sure my comments went through and I was too lazy to check.

06 - I'm very grateful to those who chose to visit and leave comments - they made the overall challenge more fun and more interactive. Without readers, it wouldn't be as fun so thank you all.

Zine

The choices for today are: (1) zippy, (2) zoo, (3) zine. The chosen word is zine.

Zine (according to Merriam-Webster) is another word for magazine and especially a noncommercial often homemade or online publication usually devoted to specialized and often unconventional subject matter.
    Zines are a tactile creation experience (according to Arts Midwest link here). They can be made by anyone and you don't even have to have experience. I like those made by hand and copies made by xeroxing. I think of them as DIY magazines in mini sizes. I had thought of making zines (but digitally) with short stories and artworks and all sorts of creative outlets, much like my blog but on paper but I've never done it. But if I am to make one, I thought of some names for it: Moon Cakes (I like moon and cake), Seven (my favorite number), The Mighty Wallflower (as I'm quite an introvert). I made an example of a cover and inside spread - see below. (The cover art is one of my pieces over here and the inside artwork you can see it here.)

example

Do you think about making your own zine?

This is the last of the alphabets and the last post of the A-Z challenge. Later, there will be a reflection post.

Click above or go here to find out more about the Blogging From A-Z Challenge.

Yatter

The choices for today are: (1) yawn, (2) yatter, (3) yeah. The chosen word is yatter.

Yatter according to Merriam-Webster means (as a noun) idle talk or chatter and (as a verb) to make idle chatter or prattle.
    I don't like idle talk as I like to make my point in as few words as possible. But no matter how well I am at being concise, my mouth doesn't always follow my brain's directions so sometimes I say things that are outside the point I'm making - frivolous bits that just appear and I can't control them. But yatters are fillers and I need them, that is, we need them. They fill in the spaces in between points. They give a break in conversation. Since no one pre-writes what they say, they can't edit out the yatter but I guess if you're a habitual, concise talker, you can.

Do you yatter much? Are you a concise talker?

For tomorrow, the letter Z, the last letter, the choices are (1) zippy, (2) zoo, (3) zine. Choose which word I might ramble about.

Click above or go here to find out more about the Blogging From A-Z Challenge.

XOXO

The choices for today are:  (1) XS (extra small), (2) XCIX (99), (3) XOXO (hugs and kisses). The chosen word is XOXO (hugs and kisses).

I don't write letters a lot but I do like snail mail - it's nice to read or write a letter on paper. I usually end a letter with sincerely or something tame. I guess if I ever write a letter to a love one such as a boyfriend or husband, I might use X's and O's but I doubt it. Even though I like the idea of X's and O's, I find it seems rather intimate and I doubt I would express such things on paper. If I can't mean something, I can't write it.

Are you a letter writer? Do you use X's and O's in your letter writing?

For tomorrow, the letter Y, the choices are (1) yawn, (2) yatter, (3) yeah. Choose which word I might ramble about or tell a story.

Click above or go here to find out more about the Blogging From A-Z Challenge.

Fiction: Witch

The choices for today are: (1) witch, (2) warrior, (3) worker. The chosen word is witch.

Fiction: Witch
Celia didn't mean to do it but there was no way to undo it. As she vacuumed and dusted each room in her house, she pondered again why she did it.
    The two widows, also sisters, Mrs. Khaos and Mrs. Wort, talked so much they carried around lozenges everywhere they go. If they had not been careless in what they said, Celia wouldn't have lost her fiancé, her dog and her father. The fiancé, she didn't mind losing since she didn't want to marry anyone who didn't trust her. Her dog, who was the victim of stupid people who kidnapped him for his safety but didn't know how to care for him, will be remembered. Her father, who was always faithful to his wife, had an heart attack when he heard how his wife had ran around with another man before her death, will always be missed.
    Taking out the trash, Celia paused to look around the neighborhood she had lived in her whole life. All was quiet on this Saturday afternoon. In five days, she would be gone from here.
    Once inside the house, Celia thought of Mrs. Khaos and Mrs. Wort stewing in the basement. The only fact they got right was Celia was a witch though that was no comfort.
    Celia took two cups of water down to the basement and placed them inside each cage and closed it. If they hadn't been scratching each other with their sharp claws, she wouldn't have separated them.
    Back upstairs, she started on taping up the boxes. If it was wrong to turn the old biddies into cats, would it be even more wrong to alter them to always speak only the truth? Wiping their memories of the last month was probably wrong too. Unless they weren't thirsty, their memories would stay intact. She hoped when they changed back tomorrow, they wouldn't remember her.

For Monday (as we skip Sundays), the letter X, the choices are (1) XS (extra small), (2) XCIX (99), (3) XOXO (hugs and kisses). Choose which word I might ramble about or tell a story.

Click above or go here to find out more about the Blogging From A-Z Challenge.

Vicarious

The choices for today are: (1) vicarious, (2) vexation, (3) vacation. The chosen word is vicarious.

I watch a lot of youtube and tv shows, read a lot of books, listen to a lot of music, read a lot of blogs and websites, all to live vicariously through other people as I lead a mundane life. I do life to life things but they don't always occupy my mind. In a way I'm cultivating and entertaining my mind by doing all the above things and also so I wouldn't go about committing crimes. Being idle is not a bad thing but sometimes I like to be doing something even if just to keep my mind partially occupied.

Do you live vicariously through the media and such?

For tomorrow, the letter W, the choices are (1) witch, (2) warrior, (3) worker. Choose which word I might ramble about or tell a story.

Click above or go here to find out more about the Blogging From A-Z Challenge.

Umbrella

The choices for today are: (1) undo, (2) umbrella, (3) unbiased. The chosen word is umbrella.

I used to love photographing the rain during rainy days and this led to searching for umbrellas especially yellow ones as they were rare. I've only actually taken less than five photos of yellow umbrellas in 10+ years and none of them were good as I always seemed to late to capture it and the person carrying the umbrella was gone before I can take another shot. I still look for yellow umbrellas now and then.  I don't want to say I have an obsession with umbrellas but I have them in my artworks and yes I do own a yellow umbrella but it's too tiny to use during the rain.
    Below I thought I share one of my recent redo artwork. I'm still unsatisfied  with some of the colors. I had called it Flatiron (after the building in the middle of the piece) but decided today this piece should be called raining sunshine.

raining sunshine, 2025

Do you look for umbrellas in the rain?

For tomorrow, the letter V, the choices are (1) vicarious, (2) vexation, (3) vacation. Choose which word I might ramble about or tell a story.

Click above or go here to find out more about the Blogging From A-Z Challenge.

Two

The choices for today are: (1) tiny, (2) two, (3) transport. The chosen word is two.

Here are two things that made me happy today:

(1) Cherry blossoms trees - saw them all over the city (at least in the area where I was today) but sadly, I forgot to take photos but I'm happy to have enjoyed the views.

(2) The sky (see photo below) - there's always a good show

What two things are making you happy today?

For tomorrow, the letter U, the choices are (1) undo, (2) umbrella, (3) unbiased. Choose which word I might ramble about or tell a story.

Click above or go here to find out more about the Blogging From A-Z Challenge.

Speechless

The choices for today are: (1) subway (2) Se a vida é (That's the way life is), (3) speechless. The chosen word is speechless.

"I am a writer perhaps because I am not a talker." - Gwendolyn Brooks

The above quote might be me making that statement. I am not much of a talker except when I'm writing (like on this blog). I guess I can be a bit speechless or silent which I suppose might bother some people. In conversations with people, my mind would sometimes go blank. The subject matter have to be real interest to me or else I have nothing to say about it. Plus, I'm not good with small talk or even regular talk. As I said, I'm not much of a talker.

Are you a good talker?

For tomorrow, the letter T, the choices are (1) tiny, (2) two, (3) transport. Choose which word I might ramble about or tell a story.

Click above or go here to find out more about the Blogging From A-Z Challenge.

Fiction: Rainbow

The choices for today are: (1) rebel, (2) rainbow, (3) reverse. The chosen word is rainbow.

Fiction: Rainbow
Sally's grandmother used to tell her, "Make a wish upon anything you see because rainbows and billionaires are hard to find. The latter is harder to convince that your wish is not stupid." Naturally Sally made wishes upon anything she saw since rainbows and billionaires were scarce.
    While contemplating why she was penniless on her 29 birthday, Sally saved a billionaire from being crushed by a truckload of watermelons. To repay her, the billionaire offered to fulfill one of Sally's wishes. After she explained about a rainbow bridge where people may come to make wishes, he had it built even if he did think it was a bit dumb.
    Six months after the bridge was opened, it collapsed and killed over a hundred people. It was speculated the cause was the locks people hung on the bridge for their wishes. A month after, Sally was outed as the person who bribed the contractor to use subpar materials on the bridge and took the difference. She was trialed and jailed.
    In her cell, Sally spent many nights wondering why she didn't just ask for money and spend it on frivolous things like ugly artworks and clothes that looked terrible on her instead of a bridge?
    When Sally turned 49 and still in jail, the contractor, on his deathbed, revealed he had framed Sally for the bridge collapse. He left evidence of his dealings.
    Months afterward, Sally stepped out of the prison gates and onto the rain-soaked streets. In that moment, she saw a rainbow in the sky, smiled and dismissed it.
    Later, Sally would found out before the billionaire had died, he had made one other Sally's wishes come true - to have her own home in the country and that's where she went to raise horses.

For tomorrow, the letter S, the choices are (1) subway, (2) Se a vida é (That's the way life is), (3) speechless. Choose which word I might ramble about or tell a story.

Click above or go here to find out more about the Blogging From A-Z Challenge.