"My life is spent in one long effort to escape from the commonplaces of existence." – Doyle
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February 28, 2024

Fiction: Destination: Heaven, Maybe

Fiction: Destination: Heaven, Maybe
Today, Q sits back in the large and comfortable leather seat and sips delicious coffee with no care which direction they are heading. Music plays quietly like echos from a distance dream. Q doesn't have to wonder where it comes from or whether anyone else hears it. Each passenger has their own music unless they shared the same destination which is rare. Sunshine pours in through the oval windows and fills the cabin with warmth and light. Passengers are talking to each other with a cheerful, carefree attitude while a few stare into space with smiles on their faces. There is plenty of space that each passenger is almost in their own little nook as if the plane's space is infinite.
    The pilot announces people who wants to nap may do so at their convenient and that flight attendants will be offering blankets and pillows. Tomorrow, every passenger is going to a destination of their choice and not just anywhere but somewhere they have all dreamed of going once in a lifetime.
    But not Q. About two months ago when Q died and appeared at the waiting lounge, a woman in gray had told him there had been a glitch somewhere and his flight is delayed in a way. He could get on a plane but he would not go anywhere but at the lounge but she insisted he must keep riding planes until he finally gets somewhere or else stay in the waiting lounge for eternity.
    There are two departures from the waiting lounge: one marked heaven and the second marked other. For those who try to go to heaven but is destined for other, they would be forced back and placid-faced people in gray would appear and drag them through the other gateway. Most people has an instinct of which gateway to choose and for Q, heaven is where he has a strong desire to go.
    Most days, Q rides the plane and meets all sorts of individuals, gets a drift of their dreams and regrets and then watches them move on. Other days, he is an invisible passenger where no one speaks to him and he speaks to no one.
    But Q hasn't just been riding planes this whole time. While at the lounge, he has read 41 books from the shelves that changed every few days. He has watched 11 tv shows and 52 movies. He has taken 33 long naps in the various mini rooms. He has walked around the lounge 17 times in hopes of seeing other exits but there are none. He has even tried the snacks from the vending machines though he is never hungry. The only thing that makes his days less repetitive are the changing landscapes from the wall to ceiling windows. Now and then he speaks briefly to one or two people but they just hurry along not wanting to stop and chat. Time still moves on though his watch doesn't work and there are no clocks anywhere.
    Once, out of desperation and the sudden panic he might stay in the lounge forever, Q went through the gateway marked other. The plane ride was as expected - like hell. The coffee was extra bad and extra bitter. The passengers were never in a good mood and were often yelling at each other. The seats seemed to be make of sharp rocks. Space was tight as if the plane was growing smaller with each passing hour. Flight attendants sat in their own little space in the back and sipped coffee while ignoring all calls from the passengers. In between the loud music that could blow out ear drums, the pilots kept announcing they might crash while the plane shook with intensity. Eventually, they arrived in a rather wonky landing and Q and the other passengers rushed to get off. Q was relieved whe he reappeared at the lounge.
    Today, Q stares out the window at a field of soft clouds. He wonders if the 28th time might be the charm. The music changes to a more upbeat tone.
    "Don't you just love that music?"
    Q turns to his left. Across the aisle, a woman steers her large green eyes toward him. The faint lines beneath her eyes speaks of someone who has laughed plenty. She has heard his music! He nods. "Yes, it reminds me of home." Where his parents used to play that very song and kiss and dance all around the living room.
    "Same here. Except, it wasn't my home, just one of my friend's. His parents were a bit lovey-dovey but I liked them." She smiles at Q.
    This must be R. He is sure of it. Has he been waiting for her this whole time? Perhaps the 28th time is the charm.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This months's Words for Wednesday prompts are provided by me over here. This week's prompts are: tomorrow, coffee, direction, echo, sunshine

February 27, 2024

Words for Wednesday Prompts - Feb 28, 2024

scrabble tiles spelling words for wednesday
This February, I am the host for Words for Wednesday. Words for Wednesday was started by Delores and now is being continued by various bloggers with Elephant's Child as our coordinator. The aim of Words for Wednesday is to encourage us to write using some or all of the prompts.
    You may write your piece in the comments or post it on your blog. If posting on your blog, please leave a direct link to the post so we can all visit you. Have fun writing!

This week's prompts are:
1. tomorrow
2. coffee
3. direction
4. echo
5. sunshine

This is my last week hosting Words for Wednesday. For March prompts, River will be providing the prompts and they will be hosted at her blog, Drifting through life.

February 26, 2024

Retro Minute #12: Honest Taglines For My Blog

To sort of celebrate 18 years of blogging, I'm sharing 18 of my favorite posts from previous blogs. Here's the twelfth post from various previous blogs. There have been a couple of versions of this list so I compiled them into one post.

Honest Taglines For My Blog (So-sorry-it's-so-long Edition)

01 | blogging without coffee since 2006

02 | memos from a cranky but slightly fanatic blogger


03 | pretending to work while pretending to blog

04 | newly redesigned to be 87% less productive than ever before



05 | have blog, will only semi-post


06 | complaining from a respectable distance

07 | the secret society for introverts and other shy species

08 | pretending to blog like a professional since 2006

09 | posting things that I am not ashamed to share, at least, not right away

10 | tiny joys and other tangible things

12 | wasting time until something else comes along to waste more time

13 | blogging for chocolate

14 | honestly talking about nothing and being honest about it

15 | have blog, will only semi-work

16 | procrastinating silently & sometimes with bits of noise

17 | no coffee, lots of tea, whine & nonsense

18 | daily somethings + other tiny joys

19  | under new management since 2006 which coincidentally is the same management except crankier and wordier

20 | pretending to drink coffee while blogging

21 | this is not a blog but a secret society for people who don't like to talk

22 | sharing & whining like an amateur extrovert

23 | pretending to blog while watching youtube

24 | curating art, books, words & other stuff

25 | silently procrastinating while noisily pretending to be busy

26 | unpopular since 2006

27 | blogging ridiculously slow since 2006

What's your honest tagline for your blog?

Note: I started blogging in 2006 and I don't drink coffee.

February 25, 2024

Retro Minute #11: Are you somebody I know?

To sort of celebrate 18 years of blogging, I'm sharing 18 of my favorite posts from previous blogs. Here's the eleventh post from February 21, 2014 from Sleepwalking in NY blog. Note: I didn't see this doppelganger of mine again after awhile so who knows. I might have imagined her.


Are you somebody I know?

“Wherever I go, I run into myself.” ― Dejan Stojanovic, The Shape
I saw my doppelganger the other day. She wore a long black coat and an ivory-colored newsboy hat. She stood as tall as I was. Even as I tried to steer my eyes away, I could not help but glance at her.
    I have seen her many times before as if she is following me or maybe I'm following her instead? Perhaps I might even have seen her for than a couple of years but only now have I come to realize she is more me than me. She dresses like me in dull colors and carries a white shoulder bag crisscrossed over her shoulder. She bends her head like me in that wandering and shy way. She even have the same habit of dinning at the same two cafes during lunch hours.
    Sometimes I think about introducing myself to her and befriending her but I fear of what her response might be. Perhaps she will bluntly turn me away or perhaps she will hate the fact that I'm like her or she is like me. And then I would have to leave quietly, ashamed for even talking to her.
    Perhaps it is best not to know what she is really like. Even if I do speak to her, what would I say? What does one say to not sound like a crazy loon and at the same time elicit a good response? Hello? That is as far as I get when it comes to introducing myself. I have a terrible habit of becoming silent after an introduction. And besides, I'm so bad at small talk as my replies would be very brief. Thoughts swing through my head often but they don't stick around for me to even use them.
    Perhaps once I get out my hello, she would have already decided I'm no one to befriend and walk away. Perhaps she will be polite about it and afterward, she will avoid me like the plague. Or perhaps she would not respond at all as she, like other people, likes to wear her headphone sometimes and will not hear me talk.
    Twice, I was mistaken for someone else. Once was from some teenage boy who seemed to know me but I don't remember meeting him. Another time was a middle-age man whom upon seeing me, started speaking about something that I have absolutely no clue of and then he walked off saying goodbye as if he will see me again. I don't know either person. If I did, wouldn't I have some memory of them? I didn't have any response to anything they said but I silently thought, "Who the hell are you and why are you talking to me?" Perhaps they have mistook me for her, my doppelganger?

So I ask you, if you happen to meet yourself or your doppelganger, what would you say?

February 24, 2024

Retro Minute #10: Some abstract photography

To sort of celebrate 18 years of blogging, I'm sharing 18 of my favorite posts from previous blogs. Here's the tenth post from Postcards from the clouds blog.

Some abstract photography
Would you call these abstract photography? Here some of my favorite shots. Click on the image for a larger view.


01 - partition that divides a street with holes that were weathered, 06.24.2008

02 - sunlight on wall, color is altered, 08.31.2007


03 - a piece of paper curled up, color is altered, 09.02.2007

04 - an old phone booth, color is altered, 10.09.2008


05 - city lights shot while moving the camera, 10.24.2007

February 23, 2024

Retro Minute #9: Emergency instructions for managing your anger

To sort of celebrate 18 years of blogging, I'm sharing 18 of my favorite posts from previous blogs. Here's the ninth post from November 2012 from Don't rain on Mondays blog.


Emergency instructions for managing your anger
This was written for Alphabe-Thursday for the letter E and it was hosted by Jenny Matlock over here.

freak out & throw stuff
For the Pessimist

01: Take a timeout to think of who to blame
02: Once you're calm, express your anger by cursing everything & everyone near you
03: Get some exercise by drinking alcohol and getting into fights
04: Think before you speak but do it very loudly
05: Identify possible solutions by picking out who to blame
06: Stick with 'I' statements and tell those suckers where to stick their I's, P's & Q's
07: Don't hold a grudge on the inside, do it on the outside by treating everyone like crap
08: Use humor to release tension by laughing at everyone
09: Practice relaxation skills by punching pillows and throwing inexpensive stuff
10: Know when to seek help so someday you can give real names to the police for who's really responsible for your angry-crime-filled rampage

OPTIONAL:
11: Forget all of the above and just freak out & throw stuff

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

keep calm and think positive
For the Optimist

01: Take a timeout to remind yourself it's nothing you can't handle
02: Once you're calm, express your anger by being positive
03: Get some exercise by taking a walk with an enthusiastic mindset
04: Think positively before you speak
05: Identify possible solutions by picking out who to laugh with
06: Stick with 'I' statements and tell those around you that you're alright
07: Don't hold a grudge on the inside, do it on the outside by doing things that clogs your mind so you can't think of anything negative
08: Use humor to release tension by laughing at yourself
09: Practice relaxation skills by going kite flying and thinking positively
10: Know when to seek help but it's nothing to worry about

OPTIONAL:
11: Forget all of the above and just keep calm and think positive

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Note: The above is just for fun and not meant to be taken seriously. The Mayo Clinic has the real list over here.

February 22, 2024

Retro Minute #8: Wallflower

To sort of celebrate 18 years of blogging, I'm sharing 18 of my favorite posts from previous blogs. Here's the eighth post from June2 4, 2010 from Just writing words blog.

I don't remember if I created this art for this poem or perhaps I created the art and then write the words? But they seem to go together.
drawing of girl against floral wall patterns
wallpaper girl

Wallflower

I don't live here, who can say
I casually occupy this life, this space
a room within another room
where sometimes I am awake
sometimes I am asleep

I don't live here, not really
all my possessions packed inside tiny boxes
lined and stacked against the corners
rearrange now and then
to change my horizon

I don't live here, how can you tell
when I blend in so easily
a wallpaper with no patterns
a small form with no shape
a blurred shadow barely seen
inside someone's eye

I don't live here, can it be true
am I a stranger within another stranger
a drift of a whisper among whispers
sometimes I become easily recognized
as being part of the living
a body among millions
I come and I go
forever in the motion of moving

I don't live here, not really
now and then
if you stand close enough
you can almost hear me
a small cry in the careless wind
a whim of a gentle spirit
I slowly merge with everything
if anyone ask
I don't live here
is what I'll say

February 21, 2024

Fiction: The Wedding Gown

Girl at a Sewing Machine by Edward Hopper
Fiction: The Wedding Gown
It was Juliet's wedding day and yet, it was not. Her original plan had gone astray. Instead of walking down the aisle, she had sat at her sewing machine altering her gown for another. Juliet's usual respond to anything unhappy was to sew and forget the world. She was a seamstress after all. But it was not easy to forget what she had gone through. Time had not made the memory dimmer nor eased her ache.
    Juliet's grandmother had always said living requires a leap of faith but whatever you do, you can't fight fate - it could never be denied what it was meant to do. At 29, she was not stale, at least to her but others thought she should've been married by now. It wasn't as if she could magically find a mate just by believing.
    Six months later at the wedding, Juliet stood about enjoying a glass of champagne while the bride and groom were exchanging vows. After they kissed and parted, the sky suddenly darkened. Frogs appeared followed by dogs, cats, wolves and other furry creatures. Dogs and wolves toppled the nine layered wedding cake. Goats started eating the food on the tables while small grey rats crashed wine bottles. Flower arrangements here and there were getting some workout from the cats. Dishes were used as frisbees by some raccoons. The guests ran frantically about trying to escape the animals who were getting a bit too friendly. Overhead, thunder sounded. Dark clouds appeared and darkened the day to almost night. Someone grabbed Juliet's arm and pulled her inside the hotel. The glass slipped from her hand. Rain fell down like rocks flattening tables and chairs. The arch, decorated with white roses, collapsed to the ground and the fabric hanging above it flew upward, looking like a patch of white cloud among the darkness. Through the hotel wall to ceiling windows, Juliet stared at it for a moment before it flew out of her view. Something popped like an explosion. The pink and blue balloons attached to poles were popping due to the heavy rain.
    This unusual weather had surprised everyone. It was summer and every weather station said it was going to be sunny all week.
    There were cries through the chaos. One outranked them. It came from the bride. The wind had kicked up the skirt of her gown and all the world could see what color underwear she was wearing. Her husband kept pushing the fabric down while trying to shield her face from the rain. Birds began to peck at the bride's floral crown. The groom tried to swipe at the birds but they took off with the crown. He grabbed the bride's hand and ran. Lightning struck at them at every step. By the time they were inside, the bride's gown was scorched in a few places and dirt covered most of it and the wearer. The groom appeared to have lost a shoe and his white suit was a dark shade of brown. Most guests appeared as if they had ran through mud and hair styled using a supercharged blow-dryer.
    Juliet kept her lips pressed tightly together so as not to laugh. When she was altering the dress, she had thoughts. Wild thoughts of animals and a windstorm disrupting the wedding. She glanced over at her former fiancé and his bride who was once Juliet's best friend. He turned his head and met her eyes. Was there accusation in his eyes? She turned away.
    Someone was still holding onto her. She loosened her arm away and looked up. The man was the bride's brother. "Some wedding, eh?" he said with a slight grin at the corner of his mouth. She nodded. Some wedding. Her grandmother had also said never wear a wedding gown made for another especially not if it once belonged to a jilted bride-to-be.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This month's Words for Wednesday prompts are provided by me over here. This week's prompts are: leap, original, unusual, 29, time.

February 20, 2024

Words for Wednesday Prompts - Feb 21, 2024

scrabble tiles spelling words for wednesday
This February, I am the host for Words for Wednesday. Words for Wednesday was started by Delores and now is being continued by various bloggers with Elephant's Child as our coordinator. The aim of Words for Wednesday is to encourage us to write using some or all of the prompts.
    You may write your piece in the comments or post it on your blog. If posting on your blog, please leave a direct link to the post so we can all visit you. Have fun writing!

This week's prompts are:
1. leap
2. original
3. unusual
4. 29
5. time

February 18, 2024

Retro Minute #7: Your Horoscope From the Past

To sort of celebrate 18 years of blogging, I'm sharing 18 of my favorite posts from previous blogs. Here's the seventh post from April 9, 2019 from The memory of rain/The memory tourist blog.


Your Horoscope From the Past

'aquarius' (background astro signs by Tavmjong)
Here's your horoscope from your past though we can't say if this is from your past life or your current life but either way, your past is set. But remember our motto: read it yesterday, forget it today.

01/
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Your great-great-aunt from your mother's side left you a fortune on the condition that you race against a monkey. Unfortunately you lost but don't worry, the monkey knew how to spent his fortune. There is now a museum for bananas in New Mexico.

02/
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You've lost everything and almost gone into depression but thanks to an advice from a stranger, you've got yourself a home near the airport and even made a friend, only, you can never ask him why his hair is like that.

03/
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Some horrible family secret exploded and you were left to handle the aftermath. But due to your youthful nature, you fought tirelessly and you're perfectly fine other than the fact that you now live in a trailer and own a huge fishing boat that doesn't work.

04/
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Your not-so-nice-relatives got you into a great debt. But you've survived and you've paid off the debt only now your relatives think you're the go-to-person for everything. But be kind to your great-uncle, he may leave you his collection of donkey memorabilia.

05/
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Your current relationship collapsed. You soon met someone else who is better for you, only that, he/she had a weird assumption that you can buy them anything.

06/
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
The love of your life left you a strange vibe after a long weekend but soon, you found out why. But you've stayed loyal and you're still together only now she/he eyes you with a look of distaste whenever you eat a steak.

07/
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You had to turn down a very lucrative job offer but a new offer came along soon after and you were happier for it for twenty-six seconds. Then you realized you've got a job that made you very unhappy but don't worry, your unhappiness will only last forty-seven years.

08/
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You were stubborn enough to stick to your belief. Now you're a few hundred dollars shorter but at least you've still got your health and your very own vehicle though it only runs on your ability to steer with your toes.

09/
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Your overly generous nature caused your family to think they can take advantage of you and somehow got you into a mess that caused you to lose your house, your car, your job and even your friends. But good news, you no longer have to lend anyone money ever again and you still have your cat though he/she spends a lot of time away from you.

10/
Capricorn (December  22 - January 19)
An old friend remembered you in his/her will and left you a large sum of money. But you lost it in a week. You were neither rich nor poorer for it though you wished that friend had forgotten you. The view through your window with the steel bars is very limited.

11/
Aquarius ( January 20 - February18)
You've lost a very precious item dear to you but don't worry, you found it again when you met someone in the rain pulling a sheep up a very steep road.

12/
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
After years of working at an old job, you finally got a chance at a new one. Unfortunely, you had to learn to ask people if they would like ketchup with their fries.

Note: You know these are all nonsense, right? They are meant for fun.

February 16, 2024

Fiction: The Insomniac Nighthawk 2

First the part here.

Fiction: The Insomniac Nighthawk 2

I turned to the first page. The dedication was: To my unkind wife: Thank you for 15 years of abuse and neglect. What the hell?
    I kept on. A brief introduction by the author: This is my book and yet, it's not. This is my great tribute to the literary society. I hope everyone would deem this the most perfect book they have ever read and if they don't, the hell with them. Sincerely, Stanley Denny.

February 13, 2024

Words for Wednesday Prompts - Feb 14, 2024

scrabble tiles spelling words for wednesday
This February, I am the host for Words for Wednesday. Words for Wednesday was started by Delores and now is being continued by various bloggers with Elephant's Child as our coordinator. The aim of Words for Wednesday is to encourage us to write using some or all of the prompts.
    You may write your piece in the comments or post it on your blog. If posting on your blog, please leave a direct link to the post so we can all visit you. Have fun writing!

This week's prompts are some onomatopoeias:
1. meh
2. woo
3. yum
4. uh-oh
5. yippee

February 08, 2024

Retro Minute #6: Why I am still a blogger & some ramblings

To sort of celebrate 18 years of blogging, I'm sharing 18 of my favorite posts from previous blogs. Here's the sixth post from January 20, 2019 from The memory of rain blog.

Why I am still a blogger & some ramblings

Sad news - my Instagram was not hacked. It's very upsetting because if it had been hacked, someone would have updated it and I wouldn't have to. I don't know what happened. I stopped posting on Instagram for a few weeks and now I really just don't want to do it anymore. If I could, I would probably just post links to my blog but you can't make links plus it's kind of strange to link to your blog from Instagram or any other social media as it almost feels a bit backward somehow. And also, I really just don't know about replying to comments - it's all bunched together in the same space and maybe I should reply to them but I don't know. I have no excuses, I'm just lazy.

I think now I'm a bit more anti-social media than I thought or perhaps I have always been this way. Here's a little list of my social media history:
    Twitter - I quitted that due to not being able to post fast enough or maybe because I hate how hard it is to actually know who's who when everyone is so quick.
    Pinterest - I quitted that as well. It's more of a place to gather image resources but kind of hard to use since they demand you sign in just to view a page and I'm never in the habit of staying signed into Pinterest and also, it's very, very, very hard to find the original link to any artwork/photo/idea because one person pin something and the whole world pins it but no one knows where the original comes from.
    Facebook - I've never tried it but I was tempted to join once or twice but decided it's not for me. I honestly cannot look at a facebook page for long without feeling a bit backward because I think the design is a bit archaic and also, it keeps asking me to sign in which annoys me so much that I usually close the browser window after a few moments.
    So it's not quite a history since I didn't really do much. I guess you can say, I really am a bit anti-social media. Is there a cure for this?

I just read this post at Offbeat YA about bloggers being artists and crafters and I agreed with Roberta. We, as bloggers, create content and unlike social media, we don't have to conform to a certain format of presenting it. That is, we can add our own distinction, our own little touches. I'm not saying you can't do it with social media, I'm just saying it's a bit harder to distinguish yourself when you have to move at a faster speed. That's what I get from social media - you don't go at your own speed even if it appears that you do. I guess in this instance, I'm slower than most people. Slower to respond to replies and comments, it's why you sometimes see my replies to comments here on this blog a week late. (Read Roberta's post here.)

So what's the point of all of this? Just that, instead of trying out social media, maybe I should just stick to blogging. Blogging is really, truly, my only preferred platform. Whatever else I quit, I seem to always return (and keep) to blogging. I have been blogging for a long while and have only quitted about two million times but I'm still blogging and in a few years, I'll announce my retirement from blogging and then a few days afterward, I'll start a new blog. Again.

How do you like social media? Do you prefer social media over blogging or do you prefer blogging over social media?

February 07, 2024

Fiction: The Insomniac Nighthawk

Fiction: The Insomniac Nighthawk

The bell above the door rang as I stepped inside. There was not a soul in sight in the brightly lit bookstore but it was hard to tell between the towers of books scattered around on the wooden floor and the rows of shelves that reached toward the ceiling and crammed with all sorts of books arranged in a rather chaotic way.
    As the door shut close, the rain outside immediately muffled. I shook the rain from my coat and hair. "Hello?" I called out but there was no reply. Tiny puddles of rain littered around a tall, silver canister standing by the door with two brilliant yellow umbrellas already there.
    My steps echoed slightly in the dead silence as I walked on the wooden floor. The rain outside became a distance sound as I got farther down the aisle. Colorful couches were here and there occupied by readers. It was a few minutes after 2 am and I might have questioned why these people were here but I was here. The hours on the door said 1:10 am and 4:09 am which itself was unusual but then again, the store was called The Insomniac Nighthawk.

February 06, 2024

Words for Wednesday Prompts - Feb 7, 2024

scrabble tiles spelling words for wednesday
This February, I am the host for Words for Wednesday. Words for Wednesday was started by Delores and now is being continued by various bloggers with Elephant's Child as our coordinator. The aim of Words for Wednesday is to encourage us to write using some or all of the prompts.
    You may write your piece in the comments or post it on your blog. If posting on your blog, please leave a direct link to the post so we can all visit you. Have fun writing!

This week's prompts are:
1. soul
2. brilliant
3. breakfast
4. winter
5. moon

February 01, 2024

Books & Shows - January 2024

January was an okay month which I had said about every month but I think if I survive any month without too much scrapes then it's all good. I have been reading and it was okay. I don't know why I make a big deal about not reading but I suppose I thought I need to live up to my blog's tagline (reading & scribbling) but mostly because I'm a reader and I like to read. Not much to tell about last month. I had a birthday which I sort of acknowledged and then dismissed because I find getting older is not that great. It was more or less a stress-free month but mostly because I'm becoming more forgetful these days. It's funny what the mind forgets and remembers. Here are the books and shows I had consumed in January.