Some end of the year thoughts

01 - Time is just speeding by - It has been an unproductive year but maybe this is due to my procrastination but it really feels as if time went way faster than last year. In the beginning of every year, I thought, I'm going to finish this or that project or do this or that but I never got around to it and the year is almost over and I have done only maybe 50% of what I thought I would do. My procrastination isn't easing up and I have no excuse, no cure. Maybe it's better to give up some of those things I couldn't do and move on. Getting stuck is probably worst than not doing.
    So what have I done this year? I couldn't remember half of it but I read a lot of books, listened to some new music, watched a lot of shows (mostly repeats) and movies, did a lot of work, wrote some fiction, made some art, and did a lot of forgettable things. I think if you can accomplish at least one thing, like cleaning a tiny area in your closet, you're good. It's all good.

02 - A great loss to the blogging community – We had a great loss with Elephant's Child passing a few months ago (aka Sue though I've only known her as Elephant's Child). She was our coordinator/mc for the Words for Wednesday writing challenge and we shall all miss her. I didn't meet Elephant's Child in person but she was a very supportive, steady, presence in a lot of blogger's life including mine. May Elephant's Child rest in a kind and serene paradise.

03 - Blogging still means something – I posted a lot less than last year and I'm a little disappointed in myself but that's fine. I don't seem to be commenting on blogs as much as before and which should matter more. Commenting is like the central part of blogging and if I'm not commenting on other people's blogs, it just seems like I don't deserve comments on my blog. It can't all be one-sided. But I do read and appreciate every comment  left on my blog and I always try to return a comment but sometimes I get lazy. But I still reply to comments left on my blog though they are mostly a month or two behind. I still love blogging and I'll never give it up unless I'm force to do so.

04 - Blogging is therapy – I was very unmotivated this year. Unmotivated to write, draw, do every day chores, work, move. Having a blog helps to motivate me a bit. I think having to contemplate about what to post, what artwork to make with those posts, gives me a push to do stuff. I'm starting to think my blog is like therapy - without it, it feels like I can give up on everything and be lazy. With it, it feels like I can do a whole lot of everything. But the motivation comes and goes but I think my blog, this blog (or any blog I might create in the future), will always give me some motivation whether I post once every couple of weeks or a few times a week. I don't mind being an erratic blogger if I'm still blogging.

05 - When no means yes? – I was paying for an item at Barnes and Noble and the lady cashier asked if I want a shopping bag (you have to pay for shopping bags which are paper bags as all the shops no longer use plastic bags and yet, those had been free), I said no but then she asked again and again, I said no. When I checked the receipt, she had charged me for the bag but I was already out the door so I didn't go back and make a fuss but I was a bit miffed and mystified especially since nothing was complicating the matter - how can they get it wrong? I had a lot of bad shopping experiences with retail people so my expectations of them is very low but what the hell is this? I see no real explanation other than a brain fog but still rather annoying.

06 - Reading preferences can be a bit singular – One of the annoying thing about reading that I had come across lately was the four-letter F word used as a verb - my prudish side really hated this. (Using it as a curse is perfectly fine.) The previous months and this month, I started a lot of books that used this verb and I just dropped them. I would end up thinking of what I had read with that verb so basically, I couldn't really enjoy the book even if I had continued. So this is a dumb reason not to continue/read a book but I don't care. And please don't tell me how many amazing books I'll be missing for not reading them - I don't care. Someone (on youtube) had said how people who don't read books with explicit sex scenes meant they're missing out on amazing books and I would say the same thing - I don't care - I don't read books with explicit sex scenes either. Everyone have their reading preferences so don't encourage people to read what they don't want.
    
07 - Keep calm and read a book – I read a lot this year and I count quantity as good reading because not reading means means a bad year. One needs to get lost in a book once in a while or else real life will seem like hell. Now if only I can find books to read that don't make me give up on them after 20%.  

Do you have any thoughts about this year? What's on your mind these days?