Whimsical Long-Titled Books

I made these up for fun but maybe someone will write them some day.

01 - Follow the trail of the rainbow: The life and times of a traveling hippie unicorn musician by Peace Flower

02 - Dogs committing traffic crimes, chickens crossing roads without looking both ways & other almost true stories by Samual Hidrant

03 - Crocheting adventures with my two cats, a giraffe and an RV by Edith Knitheart

04 - The girl who ran away from home but returned later with a case of beer, two starships and a dozen cats with the power to control minds by Soso Knots

05 - The night we forgot to put on seatbelts and came home with two unicorns by Travis Broke

06 - Unsuitable pastimes of an artificially created janitor and her minions and how they took over the world with just cleaning supplies and a library card by Squeaky Spot

07 - The  imagined secret government nicknames for citizens handbook you didn't read by Nobody Here

Do you have any real favorite long-titled books?

Fiction: The Veil

The Veiled Cloud by Charles Courtney Curran

She came from the Veil, what everyone called the realm between the clouds. But only a few people could remember they came from there. Why some remembered and others didn't was a mysteries. Though the journey had been seconds, it was what she left behind that she wished she could forget.
    But she could never go back to the Veil. Time might waited but no one could wait for time. The Veil only opened every three thousand years. Even if she could live that long, things would have changed way beyond her memory as everything that happened in the Veil happened in milliseconds compared to the decades here.
    Her mother had insisted life would be better here. But had it been better? She had friends, she had a home, she had a life full of many splendid things but were they enough?
    Today, she stood watching the clouds for some time. She and her family had made a pact that each must continued to enjoy life no matter which side they are on. It made her sad she wasn't there with them and yet, she was enjoying a life without them. Which one of them should be the sad one?
    Today, she turned away from those clouds and faced her friend who wanted to take a photo of her with the clouds. Her friend didn't know about her other life and she chose not to tell him. There was no going back and the only thing she could do was go forward.

Unspoken

I'm too polite and meek to say anything rude when people say rude or insulting things to me but sometimes it's nice to imagine I could. Here are some those instances I wish I had said something. The wording are not exact as I don't remember them.

01 - Lady: "You'll never work in this town again!"
What I wished I had said: "Listen, lady, tell that minion of yours (who was a man) to schedule you a spa day or somewhere to relax before you have a heart attack."
Situation: I just cancelled an appointment for a job interview over the phone and she just started threatening me and cursing me out. She was a bit hysterical for reasons I'll never know. I erased her info and I never met her.

02 - Teacher: "You know, you're the most boring student I have ever had."
What I wished I had said: "You're boring too. Maybe you should quit teaching before you put the entire school to sleep."
Situation: We were just having one of those mindless conversations and that's what he said. I was a quiet student. I don't remember the subject but I might have fallen asleep in his class a few times. He had a right to his opinion but if he was a better teacher, his student wouldn't be as bored as I was.

03 - Professor: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
What I wished I had said: "I'm not sure but I'm certain I don't want to be you."
Situation: That was a joke referring to me being short which I don't appreciate and it's not funny. He was a sort of stand-in guidance counselor so I didn't take his advice. I don't recall why I even met the man because he wasn't helpful at all.

Did you wish you have some comeback for some rude or insulting remarks?